The Aymir Hawke Diaries
by Siela77
Summary: Diary of sarcastic Hawke - adventures with her band of misfits and life with the mysterious being called Voice
1. Meet Aymir

**A/N: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the Aymir Hawke Diaries!  
>Diary of sarcastic Hawke, her band of misfits and the mysterious being called Voice – who is the omnipotent, helping and benign being behind Aymir. Aka ME.<strong>

**Disclaimer:**I'm just another kid on the playgound, I do not own anything. Not even Aymir, but don't tell her that.

**Beta: **Kira Tamarion Thank you, thank you, thank you!

**Chapter 1 – Meet Aymir**

( from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I'm a little nervous. _It's just a diary_, told me Voice. Yeah, for her, maybe. I'm giving out my most inner feelings here!

Let me start at the beginning: I'm Aymir Hawke, please to meet everyone.

Currently I'm busy running with my family from Ferelden to Kirkwall, which is only my Mother and sister, Bethany. My brother, Carver was killed on the way. Yes, I wasn't quick enough to stop him…

I'm… come to think of it, I don't know my height. Nor my weight.

Hair is bluish-purpleish-grayish hair,blue eyes. And I have a protective tattoo on my forehead, which is the only thing that kept my alive, or so I was told by Voice.

She was telling me something about an after the unspeakable horror known only as "character deletion", but I have no idea what does she mean.

I'm a rogue. Not the 2 dagger flinging type, although it would have been cool. I'm an archer.  
>A pretty good one, at that.<p> 


	2. Get me a healer

**Chapter 2 – Get me a healer**

( from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Really Aveline…?

I understand that the heat of the battle and charge and kill everything that moves, but was it necessary to carve my side out with your shield?

No, do not worry, I'm fine. Or rather will be. Soon I will be drinking potion...which is interesting. Sometimes I feel like there is a higher power making me drink the sometimes she just leaves me to die!

Yes, she. I'm pretty sure it is a she - it has a girly voice. Don't look at me like that! Generally she helps me - I mean I consider myself a lucky person. You should have seen how Varric was shooting the other day! Like he has no idea how Bianca is working? So I tend to trust what she says. Altough, truth to be told, sometimes she says things I do not understand. Like I'm going to rivalmance Fenris. Who is Fenris? And what is rivalmance?

Well now, is everyone slaughtered? Can we go now to Lowtown? That Anso is probably already there, waiting for us.


	3. Coming to take me away

**A/N: the songs mentioned below are:**

**Move b*tch - LUDACRIS**

**I'm on a boat – Lonely Island**

**They're coming to take me away – Napoleon XIV**

**Credits go to BloodMoonEclipse for the Dragon Age parodies on Youtube. **

**CHAPTER 3 – They are coming to take me away, aha**

(From the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I swear this is getting worse. I've gotten used to that a girly voice is talking to me, helping me and some-times telling me wierd stuff ( I still haven't met any Fenris, like she told me...), but now I'm hearing songs!

I dare not talk about this with Bethany or Mother, they are worried enough that I'm never sleeping, eating or drinking. First I tried to calm them, reciting when I've actually eaten something and what was it, but strangely I can not remember... Wait, I drank once. Ugh, maybe I should forget that. I paid three whole coppers for that stuff at the Hanged Man, but I was sick for days.

Anyways, the songs.

I've heard the first one, as we were running away from the Darkspawn and the Ogre charged at us.

_Move b*tch, get out the way_

_Get out the way b*tch, get out the way_

_Move b*tch, get out the way_

_Get out the way b*tch, get out the way_

The next one was on the boat. I've tried to get some sleep, but I constantly heard this song. Everyone else was sleeping, the sailors were pretty silent, I have no idea where the song came from!

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat_

_Take a good hard look at the motherf*cking boat (boat, yeah)_

And now the newest one.

Varric suggested we should look for the ex-Gray Warden, who is in Kirkwall; maybe he has some valuable information on good entrances to the Deep Roads. Sure, why not, I've got time, although Aveline's been constantly complaining that we go clean out the ambush place like I've agreed days ago.

When did I said yes...? Why do I always say yes?

Next time I go shopping, I gotta buy that book I saw recently. „Three Simple Ways to Say NO." I wanted to buy it a couple of days ago, but I said no to it then. Oh, well.

Sorry, sometimes I get carried away - back to the the ex-Warden. Well, he's a healer, with strange blue flashy things. Cool! Of course he asked for my help... all mages... blabla... help them... blabla... Karl... blabla...Chantry at night! Sure, I'll be there.

As was his friend, along with a few templars. And that's when I heard the song...

_They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!_

_They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa_

_To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be_

_happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're_

_coming to take me away, ha-haaa!_

Am I never going to be normal? I was fine in Ferelden. Can I go back? Please?


	4. Aymir went to the Chantry

**Chapter 4 - And then Aymir went to the Chantry**

(From the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Honestly, I'm not really the religious type, but I'm ending up at the Chantry more and more times. At night. Note to self: get the "How to say NO" book!

Come to think of it, I've never been to the Chantry during daylight...

We've helped Anders, apparently it was some kind of special offer night at the Chantry: "kill one - get three" or something like that. I wasn't given enough time to read the promotional fliers, before we were kicked out of the Chantry. But we got the map, Anders, and his spirit buddy,Justice..

Went back to the Hanged Man for a well deserved break, but we've walked into a brawl. Some men were fighting over this piratess. (Sorry, scratch that - she does not have any parrot, peg leg or even one eye patch. Let's just go with ship captain.) Ahhhh, how romantic! I want men to fight over me! Or was it fight against? I forgot... too many blows to me head :(

Anyways, this Isabela also ended up asking for my help. Go to Hightown; kill some guards - Aveline said they were NOT guards, hey, that's better - kill some more, search dead bodies - ewwwww - go to Chantry. Aaaand kill some more.

Wow! She can throw those daggers. Wait a minute, I'm a rogue too! Then why on Thedas am I struggling with this bow, instead of using my new daggers I bought a few days ago? At least they look cool! Created according to newest Orleasian weapon fashion.I never knew that a weapon can be fashionable. I learn something new every day.

Besides, I have two weapons, not one, and having an extra weapon to stick into your foes can never be a bad thing, can it?

Sorry, I have to finish for today, Mother expressed her desire to speak with me. She was talking about some serious mother-daughter talk. I wonder what's all this about.


	5. Fenris I choose you

**Chapter 5 - Fenris I choose you**

( from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I've spoken with Mother.

Yes, she's worried that I'm out most nights - hell, I can't remember one single night I've spent with her and Bethany. After some chatting (translation, she was talking about totally uninteresting things while I was just sitting in silence, trying to look interested), she told me that she was really worried about what's going on between Anders and me.

I was like WHAT? I've met this guy thee or four days ago and Mother is already making up her theories. Ridiculous!

Altough I have to confess it's much easier to read by the sparlky light he makes, not to mention the glowing eyes, than it is by the light of a candle.

But that's about it. No mother, we are not a couple. No, I do not want anything from him.

After 10 minutes of asking, asking and more asking I was allowed to leave.

Just about time, cause seeing Mother teary eyes almost made me speak about Fenris.

Ahhh, Fenris. *drools* Ahh, sorry, where are my manners.

Where to start?

I've "accepted" this mission Meeran dumped on me. Meet Anso, he'll tell all the details.

Met him, some product of his had been - what was the word again...? Misplaced. Lyrium, that is.

Go to the place, clear it out (translation: kill everyone, get loot) and get back to Anso.

Went in, killed everyone, disarmed a trap, found a crate, got some minor stuff, but more importantly found the chest. The empty chest.

Ran into some guys from Tevinter, who were seeking some elf, kicked their butts - note to self: change the bow! use the daggers! - ran into their commander. And met the elf.

Before he, and the soon deceased commander, started talking I wanted to ask who is he?

Strangly enough, I heard the answer: I play the leading man, who else?

But then again I'm sure I'm the only one who heard this... :(

The elf's name is Fenris, wants me to help. No kidding. Show me one1 person in Kirkwall who does not want my help. Wait, make that ten.

What am I? Some charity association? Oh, you've got money! Well, why didn't you say so earlier?

Went to Hightown, cleared the mansion, killed Shades, Rage Demons, and all the others.

Then he tells me his master left valuables, I can take them and he just left.

Valuables, you say? A run down mansion, destroyed furniture, some unundentified blood stains, amulets, rings, some gold (5 sovereign, 2 silver and 37 coppers).

Well, and you!

Fenris, I choose you. ^_^

I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy. Come on, little Squishy...

Ugh, maybe I ought to leave Kirkwall. Hey, I got this medallion thingy Flemeth gave me.

I think tomorrow I'll go to the Dalish. The fresh air will do us good!


	6. Aymir Hawke the loan advisor

**Chapter 6 - Aymir Hawke the loan advisor**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I swear everyone thinks I'm made out of money! I knew in my bones that Fenris wanted money... Unfortunately, all I learned, while speaking with him, is that I have to work on my conversation skills :/

I went back to Fenris, who shed some light on what his master made him to do. Pour wine. For the guests. Nothing else this time, but I'll get everything out of him. I have my ways to make my Squishy talk!

So his appearance intimidated Danarius's guests, not sure why, I totally dig his appearance.

To which he just said that I do seem to say what's on my mind. Well, hello! I'm like that since I can speak.

And then we some polite conversation, like nobles do.

_Do I want to go back to Ferelden? No! Really? Really!_

_Blablablabla_

_You'll stay in Kirwall? Maybe. Maybe not. Blablablabla_

I could not get anything positive out of him! Incredible! Wait, he said the wine was tasty, then he said, "Had I known Anso would find a woman so capable, I might have asked him to look sooner."

_I knew it!_ He wants to ask for a loan!

Well sure, the mansion is huge, but he should sell it and buy a smaller one, with much cheaper upkeep.

Besides, the loan I could give him has a a 50% interest rate. Including a minor detail, which is usually at the bottom of the contract which no one reads. "The moment you don't pay, two heavily armoured gentlemen will visit you and beat the money out of you." Trust me, you don't want that.

Well, anyway, flattery (un)successful, I've got +20 rivalry points, whatever those things are O_O

I stood up, ready to leave, when I realized that Varric and Isabela were behind me all the time; Staring towards the wall. When I cleared my throat and mentioned we were leaving, they avoided making any eye contact with me.

Sweet merciful Maker? Was I that bad?


	7. All you need is blood

**A/N – I read **"**Anders management" in one of the stories here on FFnet, but I can't remember in which one. If YOU are the creator of this expression, I hope you don't mind me borrowing it. **

**CHAPTER 7 – All you need is blood**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Yes, I also feel that I'm getting more and more psychotic lately.

Anders offered his help controlling my darker side. Look who's talking...When I mentioned this to Mother, she (although she protested a couple of days ago) said that maybe I do need Anders Management. Go, figure.

Finally, we'd gotten out of Kirkwall! It was about time! Go to Sundermount, give amulet to the Dalish, spend some time airing out my head. That was my original plan.

No complaining here, I've gotten to see a new colour other then beige! Yay! Sure, Hightown is nice and everything, but _where_ did they get metric tons of beige rocks?

So, Sundermount. Fought some spiders (ewwww, hate spiders), spoke with the Dalish Keeper ; go to the top of the mountain. Ahhh, not barefoot, I hope. Scratch that, that's another story. Besides, that had volcano and a ring.  
>But, I have to take along the Keeper's apprentice. Great, the more the merrier. Climb, fight, oh wow, Merrill is a mage. Fenris does not approve. Ran into some of her fellow Dalish, they were thrilled that she's leaving.<p>

Fight some more spiders (ewww, still hate 'em), corpses, shades. The usual routine; kill everything that moves, and loot 'em. Arrived at the top of the mountain, Merrill did the ritual; Flemeth was satisfied, as far as I could tell. Told me some cryptic things. Just so she knows, this whole 'cryptic' routine isn't mysterious, it's just annoying.  
>Ritual finished, went back to camp., Keeper was happy, everyone was happy. But only because we were taking Merrill with us. So, I wouldn't necessarily say it was one of my <em>worst<em> days.

_But!_ Just before leaving Sundermount, while heading back to Kirkwall, I had a small issue with my companions. _It was mutiny!_

They'd been complaining that they helped me gather enough sovereign to get new clothes, and weapons; now they want them. (It's good that they haven't seen my buying that fancy bow for 8 sovereigns from the Dalish ,otherwise I wouldn't be the leader by now.)

Anders wanted something that reminds him of his kitty, Ser-Pounce-a-lot.

Bethany wanted a new dress, but said that it should _not_ be like the ones Isabela wears.

Isabela said she does not suggest touching her clothes, but she'd wear something similar, like the same dress, but in different colour.

Varric... now that I think about it, he did not ask for anything specific.

Aveline, armour, armour, armour, but that's about it.

Merrill said her clothes are completely good, she just needs some recolouring.

My Squishy, well he was a complete surprise. He said he _wants_ new clothes. _Wow!_

... and they _all_ want new weapons!

Sheesh. Tomorrow, I have to go shopping.

But then no more complaining, no more mutiny! Or you'll walk the plank, ye scurvy dogs!


	8. Everybody loves Commander Shepard

**A/N - To those who haven't played with Mass Effect: Jethann is voiced by Mark Meer, who is also the voice actor of male Commander Shepard, the main character of Mass Effect. Speaking with Jethann was... interesting. To say the least.  
><strong>

**CHAPTER 8 - Everybody loves Commander Shepard**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

No, still haven't done the shopping.  
>Had given new daggers to Isabela though and that calmed down the others, somewhat. But, I just cannot postpone shopping any longer.<p>

Do you know what it's like to walk into the Hanged Man, find Varric, Isabela, Anders and Fenris, talking in a low voices., and when I go near them they stand up, say they were talking about nothing and just leave?  
>I can't go on like this! I never asked them to be the leader * cries* Sniff, sorry, I'm really sensitive lately.<p>

I went to Hightown, to buy a few things for my merry band of misfits, when something caught my eye, a request for help from this nobleman, Ghyslain de Carrac, who was looking for his wife, Ninette. Easy task, no problem.  
>She's hardly at home, marriage is in turmoil. Sad, sad story. He suggested speaking with Jethann, at the Blooming Rose, who, he said, sent Ninette a letter and white lilies.<p>

Off to the Blooming Rose, then!

Well, Jethann is this elf guy, with beautiful blue eyes. During the whole conversation it was like I've heard his voice before. I was sure I did. And then I realized!

_Commander Shepard?_

What is he doing here? Is this some kind of covert operation? The disguise is top notch, I give him that! Besides, if he could gather information without being noticed, the best place would be a brothel. Maybe he spends his off-duty hours (if he has any) in Kirkwall?

I really wanted to ask him if he's wearing a disguise, where are the others, but I'm pretty sure I do not want to know that.

Besides, he'd given me the info I needed to go on with my investigation. So, tomorrow off we go to Darktown. Let's see this Emeric.


	9. We are SHOPPING

**A/N - Any mod issue appearing in this work is real. Any resemblance to the suffering of others, living or dead, is not coincidental.  
>The mods I used are:<br>- Freedoms Call - Stuff for Anders  
>- Bethany Armor Retexture for DA2<br>- New Isabela Armor Retexture for DA2  
>- Varric Armor Retexture for DA2<br>- Dream of Antiva  
>- Fenris of Seheron<br>- Morozik75 Arsenal  
>- and a few more<strong>

**CHAPTER 9 - We are S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

_The shopping!_. Yes, we've done it.

I was told to loiter in Lowtown, because that's where I'd find our new things. Sure... I go Lirene's shop, where supposedly I would have been able to buy the Kitty staff for Anders, but could not. Apparently, they were out.. Or something like that.

For at least five minutes we did nothing, but go in and out of the shop, checking if the shop had the staff or not. And then suddenly the staff Anders was carrying just changed. Instead of the plain looking thing, he would now have a staff with two plush kittens tied to it. Honestly, everyone was freaked out! Squishy wanted to confiscate the staff and burn it at once, and Anders said he can do it only over his dead body. Oh yes, and Anders clothes changed too.

One done, Six to go.

Squishy got new armour, imported from Seheron. There were two different types, type A and type B, and he just _could_ _not_ decide. So, after approximately 30 minutes of "Should I choose this one? Or maybe that one?" I told him we'll take whichever one is type A, and that's it. After leaving the shop he blurted that he liked the other more. I'll kill him one of these days...He also got a new weapon, which interestingly is named "Scythe of Fenris".

Two done! Yay!

Varric said he liked everything, so we just got some new colours here and there. And since I could not pry Bianca out of his hands, that settled the question of a new weapons.

Gentlemen covered, now the ladies.

For some mysterious reason I had to go the Hanged Man to get all the other things. Why go with the boys to a shop and and with the girls to the pub? _Shouldn't have been the other way around?_  
>Well, anyway, again began the game of "does ... (insert name here) have new clothes? No... Sh*t!" all over again.<p>

Isabela said that she will not wear normal clothes, but she did not mention that I can not make her clothes shorter :P Got you, girl! She was thrilled with things I'd chosen for her, plus she already received her new fancy daggers.

Bethany got a new dress, with the same colors as the Amell Crest. Plus she got that strange looking staff I found in backpack while running away from Lothering. How it ended up there, I do not know.

Aveline would have gotten new shiny armour, but she didn't. Don't know why... I got her a new sword though, just so she gets _something_.  
>I swear, they are like kids sometimes. Come to think of it, all the times. If one gets a present, all the others want something, too.<p>

Merrill! Boy, she really likes her new armour. I told her we'll get her a way cooler staff then the one she has now, but I'm still not allowed into the Gallows, and you can get the best mage staffs there.

Aaaaand, last but not least, me! I got this totally awesome Antivan armour I had been drooling over for days.

Everyone's happy, got new threads, weapons, we are armed and dangerous. Tomorrow we'll storm the Darktown and check up on this Templar, Emeric.


	10. Girls night out

**CHAPTER 10 – Girls night out**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I've decided to hold a "Girls night out" with Isabela, Merrill and Sis. A sort of bonding. Or team building, if you like.

Visited this Templar, Emeric, in Darktown, arrived just in time, as he was about to be skewered by the locals, for asking... _inadequate_ questions.  
>As it turned out more women had disappeared, not only Ninette. Although he was investigating their disappearance (For how long, I wonder?), he could not help us with much more information. But he told us to check the Foundry in Lowtown.<p>

We found Shades and a Desire Demon. Killed 'em. Found a hand, and a ring. Merrill said it's possible that Ninette survived without her hand, that it does not necessarily mean that she's dead. Sure Merrill, but don't forget the bones, and the few litres of blood...  
>We'll take ring to Ghyslain tomorrow and speak with Emeric.<p>

Now what I do not understand is why everyone who is stalking the streets at night think that it's good idea to attack four armed women? Not to mention that the evil looking staff Sis carries screams "I'm a mage and if you attack me I'll stick my staff up your arse, or hurl a fireball at you. You choose"  
>We look that weak? Lots of dead bodies have the scars to prove that they were wrong.<p>

Isabela had been complaining that what we are doing wasn't fun, besides she'd suggested cleaning the streets at night, so that's what we did.  
>Lowtown, Hightown and the Docks will be a little more safe from now on.<p>

While leaving the gang's base in Lowtown, we've ran into a woman, thanking us what we did. She said she'd be grateful if we could get rid of the other gangs, she'll be at the Hanged Man with some toys.

Oh boy, oh boy, great! thought poor, naive me.  
>Sure she <em>was<em> there, and we got money. But what am I supposed to do with a squeaky duck toy?


	11. Feynriel

**Chapter 11 - Feynriel**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Anders has been complaining lately. He likes the Ser-Pounce-a-Lot staff and everything, it's just not powerful. Went back to Lirene, asking for a refund. She told us it's not her fault, and I quote "I am not taking responsibility for mods that have not been installed properly." O_O

For now, Anders has another staff until we can figure out the problem with the Kitty staff.

I swear there's some kind of "apostate mission magnet" on Sis. And on Anders, for that matter.

We were walking near the Alienage, when Sis noticed an elf woman, Arianni, speaking with a Templar. Her son, Feynriel, a mage, had run away. Ser Thrask suggested it would best would be if Feynriel would give himself up... Sis was practically pushing me to the poor woman, saying she could be Mother, we've got to help her!

Yes, Ma'am!

Feynriel did not want to go the the Circle. Wonder why? I've been running in and out with 2 mages and nobody tried to stop me yet. Spoke with his father, Vincenzo - no help. Spoke with Ser Thrask - find Feynriel soon, before he snaps, or other will find him and he _will_ snap! And speak with this ex-templar.

Spoke with ex-templar Samson - cost me 50 whole silvers! Well off we go the check on that captain then.

Paid a visit to this captain Samson told me about, they were busy trying to corner a mage girl.  
>Baaaaad decision. Veeeeery bad decision. Too bad they had to learn this lesson the hard way, like those kids who messed with Sis.<p>

To wield powerful magic, you do not need the hands. Someone once said, learning magic is like a new language. You learn the basics (learning new words), and when you control it firmly (once you're capable of putting words into complete sentences), _that's _when you can add the hands, as sort of embellishments, showing off what you really can do.

Well, unfortunately things haven't ended well for this mage, as she became an abomination, had to fight her. :( Sorry, it's nothing personal, I just tend to protect myself. I told the others I found her letter addressed to her father, Ser Thrask! Then Anders asked if there's a way finding out who she was? Do they ever listen to what I'm telling them? Arrrrrrgh  
>Feynriel was sold to Danzig, in the Undercity. Next stop, Undercity. Found Danzig, made him talk, let him go. Nest stop, Massive Head Trauma Bay!<p>

Ran into Tal-Vashoth... At ease boys, but be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting slavers.I ran past some elven assassins, shouting with a human. As I was passing by they were really errr, puzzled, I guess. Like why am I not dealing with them? Sorry, boys and girls, not today.

Found the cave, killed some slavers, then more slavers. Who knew I really had talent for diplomatic talks? Well not me, rather my dagger did. Saved Feynriel, sent him off to the Dalish, it was partially his decision, everyone's happy, we go home! My legs are hurting like hell.


	12. Sovereigns will do fine

**Chapter 12 – Sovereigns will do fine**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

- Ninette's case is closed, spoken with her husband and Emeric, neither were too happy.

- Isabela mentioned that one of his friends, and she emphasized friend, needed help. Well thanks to Merrill my "there's fire, run for your lives" performance was busted. "Legitimate" poisons of Martin were found, how and when he picks them up is his problem. At least I can buy poison from him!

- Been to the Bone Pit - there were actual _Dragons_ there! Where is my prince on white horse in times like these? Or was it white-haired prince on horse? Wait, my white-haired not- really-prince was at home! Shouldn't he run to my rescue, scale towers, slay dragons or something?

I always felt that I do not have a life, which most people would call normal, but attraction effect on the crazies is just getting stronger.

While running around the wounded coast, looking for Feynriel, I've met this dwarf, Javaris. His plan was to buy gaatlok, explosive back powder, from the Qunari. Long story short SOMEBODY has to kill the Tal-Vashoth, Arishok will be pleased, Javaris gets his powder, I get money. So, he wanted to hire me to do some killing... Qunari... sorry, the proper term was Tal-Vashoth. Great, sure, it's not like I don't have enough people trying to kill _me_. The line is pretty long already.

We have killed a few of their ambush parties, but as I was running along the coast someone warned me about the ambush. It was Tal-Vashoth, disgusted with his fellows because they are no longer orderly. It would have been nice to have another fighter against them, he just didn't wanted to help. At least he was not attacking us.

It was not an easy fight, they've had a mage, they were throwing pikes at me. Is that the correct word? I'm not a weapons expert, I know daggers, bows, but that's about it. Now that I think about it, why do I have a healer in the party, when he's somewhere at the other side of the cave, and not beside us, healing us? Yes, Anders, I'm speaking about YOU! I looked like a porcupine... I really have to think over brining Anders with me.

Back in Kirkwall to talk to the Qunari, Isabela suddenly decided to take the bath she's been planning for days and she just buggered off. Anders and Squishy were looking at me like "what the hell was that?" Well, how should I know?

Javaris was there and, as he imparted this valuable information upon us, was waiting for hours. Well, excuse US, we did not have any deadline for this job!

When I saw the Arishok, for the first time, since we fought that Ogre I thought "Sh*t! I don't wanna fight this thing! Ever!"

Fenris did some magical hand waving, greeted the the Arishok in the Qunari language. We let Javaris do his bargaining. Well, that was the shortest bargaining session ever recorded, that's for sure. Sure, the Tal-Vashoth are killed, only not by him, thus he's not worthy of getting the gaatlok. What about poor, little Tal-Vashoth massacaring meeeee? I had to tread in Tal-Vashoth entrails, am I not worthy?

Javaris paid me in the end, boy, was he pissed off!

I've got eight whole sovereigns! Cool. Maybe I should ask the Arishok if they have more Tal-Vashoth to kill.


	13. Reorganizing the guards

**Chapter 13 – Reorganizing the guards **

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

News of the day: Aveline got new armour! Yay!

Not THE one, which she wanted, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. It was a gratis armour, looks nice, she said she likes it, although she was asking almost immediately if the same armour is available in black.

Voice said she'll look into it. She also said that the non-appearing armour was due to something, and I quote here: "_the game not being patched up to version 1.03_." Game...? Patch...?

Well, I don't care whatever patch we are talking about, she better be not putting the patches on my pants. My butt is already looks big enough in it. I wonder who's idea was it to give me striped pants? At least it's not horizontally striped. That would make me look überfat...

Lately, I've been neglecting Aveline, so we paid her a visit. Was worth it? She got a job for me... Geeez, I just realized, I've already spoken with her about this, I just... well... okay, okay, we'll do it this time!

So I picked Varric, my other neglected one, Isabela and Fenris and headed out to smoke out the bandits, when someone grabbed my arm. Oops, sorry Aveline. Squishy out, Aveline in. All right, let's kick some butts!

It's not that I'm complaining, but these butt-kicking sessions are getting shorter and shorter. Let's speak with Captain Jeven. Right-o!

Talk about being grateful! Even a blind beggar could see that we've done something this Jeven did not have in his agenda. We've saved another guard, Brennan, from getting eviscerated by thugs. The same fate that's supposed to happen to another guard, Donnic. "A good man" Aveline said. Oooo, I know that tone :)

Onwards, for justice. Let's save Donnic's butt, and other body parts, in the name of love!

We've found only a couple of thugs ready to dispose of Donnic. We killed 'em, looted 'em.  
>Awww, Aveline was so cute! The way she was looking at Donnic... awwwww.<p>

Come to think of it, where is my Squishy? Gotta spend more time with him ^_^

Picked up a satchel with some interesting documents. Tsk, tsk, bad, bad Jeven. Headed back to the Keep to deliver the great news. Captain Jeven was asked to step down, but before doing so, he threatened Aveline with hanging, quartering. Hey, no impaling, no flogging? Some people just don't have any imagination.

Aveline will be the new Captain of the Guard! In due time, cause there will be training. Why Aveline has to participate in integrity and time management training is anyone's guess.

Most importantly, she's the Guard captain, and that is the way is should be :)


	14. Be vewy quiet I am hunting apostates

**Chapter 14 - Be vewy vewy quiet I am hunting apostates**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I got this letter, addressed to the "Proud scion of the Hawke family." At first I though it was for Bethany. She denied it.

Oh well, let's see what this mysterious person wants. "Indulge me in a meeting outside the city, for I require your aid in a delicate task... Please come ASAP..." Why am I not getting any letters saying that it's not urgent, I can do it whenever I please.

Off to the... Wounded Coast. Really? Why not Hightown? Or Lowtown? A place where I can SIT DOWN for 5 minutes beside a drink. Would that be too much to ask for? Pretty please?

Voice said no. I swear, she's like a slave driver sometimes. _Run here, run there, kill this, speak with that_... She said she's doing it for _my_ sake, that we will gather the 50 sovereigns for the Deep Roads excursion! Yeah, sure! I already have 119 sovereigns!

Ah well, back to the Wounded Coast. Killed some dragons, ran past Ser Thrask, found some corpses, began to loot them when the others told me it was high time to get rid of all the junk we are carrying around. Back to Kirkwall, sell, buy, back to the Coast.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring Anders along, well, it's too late now. We were asked to hunt apostates. We should not hurt them, the same probably does not apply to them, they WILL hurt us, however before they do so, we should ask them to return to the circle of Magi. Wow! Do I get some surcharge for the extra dangerous situation?

The cave of the apostates was quite cosy, not to mention that they've sent us a welcoming committee. They forgot to serve us welcome cocktails. For this mayor flaw in hospitality they had to be punished! We ran into one of the mages, wanting to get the hell out of there. He told us their leader, Decimus, was using blood magic. It's good we didn't have Squishy with us, otherwise he would have been be shouting "KILL EVERY BLOODMAGE" by now.

Further into the cave, we found the others. Now, this Decimus guy was not really interested in what we wanted and attacked us on sight. If I remember correctly, we were told that they only attack templars on sight! Bigger danger surcharge! So, we killed 'em.

And after all this I'm the one to blame for the attack? Not to mention that sure, I'll help. Why not? They've attacked me, tried to kill me. Kill Ser Thrask? Nooooo. Before heading back I've looted Decimus's dead body. Hey, it's not like I'm getting any bad Karma points. Besides, he attacked ME, first!

Outside, Ser Thrask was busy explaining the situation to some other templar. Once he'd noticed us, I've left everything to Varric, if anyone, he can be very convincing. Long story short,Ser Aymir Hawke,I like that title. :) Killed most of the mages.

Templars happy. They left.  
>Apostates happy. They left.<br>We got money and a new staff. We left :)


	15. Like a bridge over troubled Kirkwall

**Chapter 15 - Like a bridge over troubled Kirkwall**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Sister Petrice... Ugh, this woman will cause us some headache, that's for sure.

We met, or rather were running by Sister Petrice when we on our way Donnic. I've wanted to stop ask her what she wanted, however Aveline grabbed my arm, saying "no time, we gotta save Donnic." Priorities," she said, priorities...

By now I finished everything, had nothing pending, though might as well speak with Voice, find out what she wants.  
>- native to the dark place beneath Lowtown.<br>- bloody skills  
>- integrity<br>- leaping to the defence of others  
>- willing and capable<p>

Err, it's not like every property can be found in my CV, but hey, I can be convincing. Had to dispose of some competition first, though.  
>Lady, bloody skills we have, Merrill could do a demonstration, if you'd like, as for leaping to defence... you've been reading way too many romance novels.<p>

Willing and capable... within seconds, I created a blood bath, if that's not the synonym for capable, I don't know what is!

She asked me to escort Ketojan, a Qunari Saarebas out of Kirkwall. Now, before I could have said anything, we had to include a technical pause. Voice said she's hungry, she'll have lunch. And she just left me there! Can you imagine it? Just the thought of food made me drool not to mention that Petrice was asking me every 3 minutes if I've decided or not. And to top everything off, Voice mentioned that she had roast duck with red cabbage. * gulp* Anders just handed me a bucket, saying I should drool in there. Varric said once we finish this off, we can eat at the Hanged Man. He said they are making some wierd stew there. Errr, thanks Varric.

What would I be doing without my wonderful companions...?

So we grabbed, not literally of course, Ketojan and headed to the Undercity Warrens. A few spiders, traps and a few bandits. Their leader was threatening me, which Ketojan did not like, so he just blasted him. Temper, temper!

Leaving the cave we've encountered more Qunari. They wanted Ketojan. We did not give him to them.  
>Using the control rod thingy this Arvaarad had, we could finally speak with Ketojan. He called me Basvaraad, worthy of following. Why thank you, that certainly explains why everyone is singing "<em>we're following the leader, the leader, the leader, following the leader wherever she may go<em>" while they are running after me.

I'll never understand the Qunari. Saarebas knew darn well they wouldn't let him live, yet he did not accept any other possibility. It was so sad :/

We went back to Petrice. Did I mention that the Qunari were at the cave because some tracks were leading that way? Some coincidence... who was pretty busy packing her stuff.

Suuuure, you did not know about all the things. Honestly, I was not listening to the nonsense she was spewing, I just wanted to snarl at her "Just pay me, b*tch", but given my proper education, I didn't do that.

Hey, 14 sovereigns! Now, why am I always humorous and charming? Seems I should be going for the direct route.


	16. Adventurer vs Abominations Championship

**Chapter 16 - Semifinals in the Adventurer vs Abominations Championship**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I was browsing through my journal, checking what's needs to be done before our trip to the Deep Roads. Fortunately I did not have many things pending, just a couple of carrier missions, so I thought let's check out Hightown.

Baaad decision. A woman named Macha immediately found me, her brother Keran had vanished. Why not help her? Helping and killing are what I'm best at. Check the gallows, perhaps the other recruits know something. They shouldn't be talking to me. Well, boy and girly, too late, you ARE already speaking with me, you might as well tell me everything. Other recruit, who went missing at the same time as Keran, just came back. And left. Next stop, Wilmod's camp!

Another templar was trying to force the truth out of Wilmod. Hey, violence is not the solution for everything! Says me, who was tramping through Tal-Vashoth entrails a few days ago... :P Anyways, the only thing he could force out of Wilmod was an abomination.

**" Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the main event of the day!**

**Brought to you in association with the Chantry and all the Circles of Magi across Thedas.  
>In the category of the Adventurers Vs. Abomination, lightweight Championship, here in Wilmod's Camp, presiding over this match we have the Maker, and the referee Knight-Lieutenant Cullen.<strong>

**In the red corner, weighing not-so-many pounds, with a professional record of countless wins and 2 KOs, from Ferelden, Aymir Hawke and her team! Please welcome Aymiiiiir Hawwwwwwke!**

**In the blue corner weighting 350 pounds with a professional record of 0 wins, 0 KOs, from the Fade, the Abominations! Please welcome the Abominaaaaaations!"  
><strong>

No, don't even ask who has won. Next stop, Blooming Rose!

Apparently Wilmod has gone there way too often... Nooo, I'm not interested in his favourite position, thank you very much.  
>So, this Idunna was entertaining the boys. She tried her dirty tricks on me, she failed. She sent the boys to a sanctuary at Darktown. While in Darktown I've made a strategic change in the party. Well, we ARE going against blood mages, Squishy is really sensitive when it comes to blood magic.<p>

Keran was floating in some cool relaxing looking thing. Maybe I ought to give it a try. I NEED relaxation. Before we could check out what was keeping Keran floating, Tarohne and her little band showed up.

Darling, what demon has possessed you to use atrocious make-up like that? Urgh... I'm really sorry, I would have accepted your offer, if I had gotten a relaxation thingy like Keran, but this make-up made me change my mind.

Mages killed, Keran's fine, at least he hasn't got an extra passenger. Next stop, Gallows!

Cullen was pretty surprised when I told him that half of their recruits could be possessed. I got in some argument with them over mages, Anders be better appreciating what I'm doing for him. In the end I convinced them that Keran should stay.

Got 9 sovereign, yay! Now, where can I find a shop that's selling that awesome looking relaxation thing?


	17. Heighho to the Deeps Roads now we go

**Chapter 17 - Heigh-ho Heigh-ho to the Deeps Roads now we go**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Allrighty!

Got the money - yep!  
>Finished all the pending things - yes! Finally!<p>

Before heading to Hightown, I've got a letter from this guy named Dougal. "I understand you are in dire need of some coin." No. You misunderstood it. I already said it, I got the money! Is there ANYONE who is listening to what I'm saying? Noone? :(

We went to check what he wanted, anyway; to lend me money, get back double... Hell NOOOO!

According to him, I enjoy spending money more than saving it. Well sure, excuse me, for not wanting to get myself killed in some old rusty chain mail. A girl always gotta look good! Beside all that new stuff we've got was gratis. Just to be sure I've asked Voice if the getting of the new stuff is totally OK or should I be expecting the Templars because we've been using forbidden magic? She said it's totally legitimate, everything comes through something called "_console command_s." Er... sure.

So we headed to Bartrand, paid the money, gave him the map, heard some great, soul-uplifting speech, and were ready to leave, when Mother approached us. She was begging me to leave Bethany at home.

What to do, what to do?

**Option 1**. - I leave Sis at home, just as Mother asked. Mom will be happy, Sis not. She really wants to come with us. Besides, what if the Templars take her while I'm not at home?

**Option 2**. - I take Sis with me. Sis will be happy, Mother not.

**2a** - We go to the Deep Roads, pick up everything which is not nailed down, don't run into any problems, get home, gonna be stinking rich. However with the rotten luck I've been having nowadays, this ain't gonna happen...

**2b** - If something happens to Bethany, mother's gonna kill me, that's for sure. So to evade this, we'll take Dr. Anders with us! He knows a few healing spells, hopefully we won't be needing them.

Sorry Mother, Bethany is coming with me.  
>Sorry Squishy, you'll also stay here :(<p> 


	18. Postcard home

**A/N – you can check out the postcard here http :/ www. dragonagenexus. com /imageshare/ ?id=16597 (remove the spaces)**

**Chapter 18 - Postcard home**

_Hi Mum!_

_We've made some cool pictures, so you can see how nice this place is!_

_No problems so far, we've ran into some Darkspawn, nothing we could not handle, although the anti-spider spray you suggested would have come in handy. Next time, I leave the packing to you._

_Bethany is feeling a little unwell, Anders said that's just because of the four portions of nug-stew she was eating. She was playing "who can eat more within half an hour" with Sandal... We told her she shouldn't have eaten the 4th portion, but nooo, she did it anyway. Well, that's our Bethany :)_

_Don't you worry, we'll be back within a few weeks and we can buy the mansion back!_

_Say Hi to Uncle Gamlen for us, please._

_Your loving daughters,_

_Aymir and Bethany_


	19. And they stoned me

**Chapter 19 – And they stoned me**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

_"After long hours of walking it felt unlikely that there is another world above, one that has clouds and a sky instead of dome of rocks. Getting ahead was not easy, and the tunnels were filled with the stench of decay - not only decay of bodies, but entire cultures, destroyed at the hands of others civilizations..."_

I was probably speaking my thought out loud, because Anders, Varric and Bethany were just staring at me, with horror in their eyes. Afraid that I had contracted the taint. Or worse.

Finally Anders stood up, took a few stumbling steps (geez, was he afraid of me?) and set down beside me. He looked in my eyes... Maker, if he's trying to flirt with me again, I don't know what will I do. Last time he tried , "Kind, wise _and_ beautiful. You must have made a deal with some demons yourself." was little awkward. Besides, I don't like it when Varric is listening, with pen and paper ready...

So, I was sitting with Anders beside me, looking into my eyes, when he suddenly snatched the Agreggio Pavali I was drinking! He held it up to the others like a victory trophy! Sis was really relieved, Varric was just mumbling something about deleting a section or something. Hey, it's MY wine, given by my Squishy! Give it back...!

Anyways, after a minor interlude, the road was blocked, Sandal was lost, sending the postcard to mother, finally we've arrived at the Thaig. It looked... interesting to say the least. Maybe weird would be the better word. We headed out to check on what we could salvage, when we found a lyrium idol. It looked shiny and everything, however it was red, not really my color. Varric just gave it to Bartrand, who, in return, left the room and closed the door on us! Great, look for a new door! Honestly, I was praying the whole way. Please, Maker, be it Darkspawns, Golems, Demons, anything, but more , it seems he did listen to my prayer, because there we no spiders, only Shades, Golems, Demons and Darkspawns.

I swear, something is not right with Sis, we had to bring her back twice from the dead! Something is definitely not right...

Well, a couple of shades and rock wraith later we encountered this Hunger Demon. He's hungry. So am I! I skipped breakfast :( No, sorry, we're not dealing with demons.

After we ran into more... things. Stone things. Figures. Picked them to pieces, got the treasure, which was only 19 sovereigns, 50 silvers and 39 coppers! And a key.

We've decided to rest a while, we were dead beat after clearing these stone things away.


	20. Goodbye Sister

**A/N "" lines are part of a poem, not mine, I've found here:**

**http :/ www. 123tagged. com/Poems /Poem /711 / Goodbye_Sister. Html (remove the spaces)**

**Chapter 20 – Goodbye Sister**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

_"Goodbye sister, your leaving now..."_

So, we arrived back at the same junction we found the first time we were searching for a way around the the blocked road. Phew, now only five days, maybe one week.

Bethany was rather silent the whole way. Except a few "die, die, why won't you die, now die already!" outbursts, she rarely talked to us.

_"I will miss the way you yelled in my face,  
>when you said the clothes I wore were a disgrace.<br>You helped me with work and did my hair,  
>You weren't perfect but I didn't care."<em>

Now, she asked us to stop. She said she was feeling sick. Varric was joking that maybe it was the mushroom, hearing her collapse, I ran to her. One look at her face and everything was clear. No, it was not the mushrooms. It was worse. Even Anders could feel the taint.

I wanted to shout at her, _why she'd kept that a secret_. I just wanted to scream, I heard that helps. Anders said there IS a way to save Bethany. Becoming a Gray Warden. He didn't tell me more, he said he couldn't tell me. Not needed, I already know how one can become a Gray Warden. You drink some blood, Archdemon blood and Darkspawn blood, to be more precise, choke on it and pass out. See? I know everything. Voice told me. Why the strange face, Anders? I never denied I made a deal with a demon. Sorry, maybe demon is exaggeration.

All righty, let's move out and look for these Wardens, before I kill Anders.

We've found them, but their leader, this guy named Stroud was not really embracing the idea of letting Bethany become a Grey Warden. He said "Being a Grey Warden is not a cure...it is a calling."

I was ready to try the things I read in the book I bought before we left Kirkwall, _"_The Beginner's Introduction to Blood Magic." (Hey, the book said anyone can try it!), when Varric whispered to me to leave everything to Anders. Geez Varric, when was the last time he did something right...? Okay, he better be quick, or I'll try to see if non-mages can use blood magic or not!

I had to butt into their conversation, she's a mage, for heaven's sake, just take her with you! It actually helped. FINALLY they decided to take Bethany with them. I'm sorry Sis. Yes, I'll take care of Mother... :(

After this all was like a walk in the park. Got back to Kirkwall. All Varric could speak about was his vengeance on Bartrand, frankly I didn't care. I told Mother I'd take care of Bethany and I could not...

At home all Mother asked was "Bethany isn't with you?" to which I could only answer, No. She asked if she's coming back, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know... She started crying, I just wanted to comfort her, but I knew it was not possible. She blamed me when Carver died and now Bethany is gone too...

_"have pulled together all my pride to say,  
>I will miss your face in every way. "<em>

... now I wonder when should I tell her that I've got the money for the mansion...?


	21. The boys and girls are back in town

**Chapter 21 - The boys and girls are back in town**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Busy, busy, busy. Bought the mansion, moved to Hightown. I heard it caused quite the fuss among the nobles. Maybe they are afraid I won't stick my little finger out while drinking the tea... or something like that.

But then, one day, out of the blue, I was called to the Viscount's Keep. I wondered what they wanted, I haven't have anything to do with them since I've rescued Saemus. It's not really the Viscount, who requested me, but rather the Arishok! The Viscount was really interested in what I had done to impress the Arishok. Good question. We've spoken only twice! He requested me personally. I am to go to the compound, ask what they want and make sure they get it, and everyone will be happy.

I left the Keep, but it was really... er... weird running around alone, so I returned to the Keep for Aveline. She's doing fine, although my "appearance" among the upper-class has caused her quite a headache. I knew it, I'm holding the teacup the wrong way! I should have taken that etiquette class!  
>Aveline was complaining, but she's happy, I can tell :)<p>

Visited Merril, she got this huge mirror in her house! Wow, where can I get a 3D puzzle like that? She said it's not complete yet. I really hope that it'll be one of those mirrors which make you really thin! That would be sooo cool!

Nest stop, The Hanged Man!

However, before that, I decided to get rid of all the useless stuff I've been carrying around, and buy some new weapons. Bought this awesome looking longsword called Frostmourne for my Squishy.

At the Hanged Man everything is the same. The man near the entrance is still related to Viscount Dumar (his aunt's second husband's fourth eldest daughter once cleaned the viscount's privy...). Merrill told me that Isabela mentioned that the next time they came here, she'd teach Merrill something called "body shots"... _Isabela!_

Speaking of Isabela, she mentioned that she'll be needing my help in the future. She's still looking for that relic, but now found a lead. Well, as long as she doesn't find poems and an old boot again, fine with me! Ah, yes, and she said that I'm fine. I don't judge people and not afraid to get my hands dirty kind of fine.

Varric was asking if I had future plans. Politics? Business? He was thinking that I might go back to Ferelden, but he was pretty glad that I'm sticking around. Of course I'll stay! What would I be doing in Ferelden without him?

I looted the rooms of the Hanged Man, not that I needed the money; hell, I could wallpaper the mansion with money... wait, is paper money invented? - but old habits die hard. Bought some special poison, for that special someone... NO, not for Squishy!

Ok, most of my misfits have been covered, that leaves only Anders and Squishy...Oh, it's already five o'clock! Gotta run home, I can't miss the five o'clock tea party! What kind of upper-class noblewoman would I be?


	22. After the teaparty

**Chapter 22 – After the teaparty or what Anders and Fenris are doing**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Ah, the "tea-party"... That was the last time I was dragged to one by Mother! I sat like a proper lady, stirred the tea like a proper lady, but the conversations! Maker! They called me Lady Amell **all the time!** After the second time I gave up telling them that Lady Amell is my Mother. I'm Lady Hawke. Fortunately before Lady What-was-her-name started shouting around that I'm an assassin, which I'm not, and what would have caused the tea-party scandal of the decade, I left the place. Lady, you call me assassin again, and I'll kill you. Attacking from behind. At night. With poisoned daggers!

Anyway the night was young, so I decided to check what Anders and Fenris was up to.

Anders was at his Clinic, treating Senechal Bran. He was talking about some itch...? I don't know where he was itching, and frankly I don't even care! Anders,, as always, was complaining about the Templars. Seems they are camping on his doorstep. Why are they camping on his doorstep? Are they also itching?

Yes, templars are oppressing... bla...bla...mages are good...Justice...bla...bla...patience. Oh, Maker, please give ME patience. But at once! _No_, I won't lock you up, so please don't even try calling me Sweetheart.

Next stop, my Fenris!

I took my girly squad of Aveline, Merrill and Isabela with me, but entering the mansion I saw Isabela hitting on my Fenris! She was with me 5 seconds ago! What foul magic is at work here? We were chatting about things, like his problems are not mine. Nooo, that's not true! I can help with the problems. Or give more. Well, whichever the dear customer requests :)

Oh yes, and he said I'm beautiful! And he asked if there is someone else who has my attention...? Geez, learn to read the non-verbal signs, Squishy! Or maybe I should be more direct? Looks like the constant drooling and the puppy eyes are not enough. But it seems that my efforts have paid off, he said that I raised and interesting point, he'll have to consider it.

Squishy, while we are at it, please also consider removing the corpses and the spider webs. This place is a mess!


	23. Happy anniversary Fenris

**Chapter 23 - Happy anniversary Fenris**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Fenris promised some cleaning up, but I'm sure there will only be cleaning if I'm doing it!

I was ready to leave, to do some butt kicking, when I've noticed a gigantic yellow sign floating over Fenris's head. Now that I think about it, I saw sign like that many-many times and it always ended up in a conversation. Or in a pickle.

Ohhh, so are we celebrating? Anniversary of his escape. Gripping story! "You and I don't always agree"... geez, with almost 100% rivalry no wonder...He never let anyone close, the memory of getting tattoos ... awww, I just wanted to give him a hug and ruffle his hair... but with me it might be different... This was when I almost fell off the chair. I was like **what?** Where is the repeat button? Did I hear it correctly?

Well, sure, we could find out :P On another night perhaps, said my Squishy... Dawwwwww :(

...Hi, my name is Aymir and I'd like to request the following song, sending it to my my Fenris.  
>The song would be: "Tell me when will you be mine, tell me cuando, cuando, cuando"<p>

I needed some fresh air, so I've decided to check out Lowtown. It's one of the few places where there are always idiots lining up for some blood-letting and I'm always happy to oblige when it comes to hitting people. After having slain the random dog, I found that it had digested not only the contents of a smaller treasury, but various household goods. It's ridiculous what I'm finding inside the killed enemies!


	24. Hawke Mansion on Kirkwall Cribs

**A/N - "Cribs" belongs to MTV. I just borrowed the "let me show you my house" style.**

**Chapter 24 - Hawke Mansion on Kirkwall Cribs**

Welcome, welcome, I'm Aymir Hawke and THIS is my crib! Let's go check it out!

Hawke Mansion - Hightown – Kirkwall  
>2 bedrooms<br>2 living rooms, equipped with the latest magic  
>1 gigantic chandelier to swing on<br>Library

Since generations, this mansion belonged to the Amells, it was sold, bought it back!  
>But, that's enough about family history. Follow me!<p>

This is one of the living rooms, at least this is where my mother, Bodahn and Sandal always chill out. This room is equipped with the latest magic: I can order runes, potions, poisons from home. Awesome!

I recommend checking out my library, with masterpieces like Hard in Hightown, Hard in Hightown: Siege Harder and a dozen copies of Anders' Manifesto, among other noteworthy books.

Onto the next room!

This is my room. I know it looks a quite boring, but I'm planning to pimp it out with some plants soon.

Now let me show you our chandelier, the most interesting part of my house. Well at least according to Sandal and Merrill. They just love to swing on it. You should come and see it some time!

Now that you've seen it all, please scram, I have official business to attend to!

See you next time!


	25. Hello lunatic

**Chapter 25 – Hello lunatic**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Yay, more ransacking corpses!  
>- Lowtown cleared, the band with the mabaris... I want a dog! Gotta tell Voice! I DO know she was told how she can get one. I want a doggy and I shall have one!<br>- Docks cleared ;I've never seen so many Templar shields!  
>- Hightown cleared - band of "invisible sisters" on a girls night out<p>

Allrighty, let's get over to the Compound, let us see what is what the Arishok wants.  
>Again, Isabela buggered off. Bath again? No, this time she needs... "a stiff one and a drink". Can I go with you? I also need a... drink.<p>

I'll skip the details of the conversation with the Arishok. What IS important that he is starting to like me! Yes, before leaving the compound, the Arishok said and I quote "Panahedan, Hawke, I do not hope you die." Awwwwww.

Let's ask around where Javaris can be. Smuggler's cove, end of cave ,spiders, bandits, the usual things...

Ahh, yes, we've got new threads! They look cool! Aveline got the same armour, but in black and red, but I've got this totally awesome armour! Now all we need are some boot for Fenris. He's stepping into all sort of things.

...At the other side Javaris's men attacked, killed 'em, discussed that all is a misunderstanding, back to Lowtown, search for an elf. Thanks, Javaris, that really helps! Eventually we found the whole gas infested alley. The stench reminded me of the cheese Uncle Gamlen is keeping since ages in his house. No, wait, the smell of that cheese is worse! I suggested to Aveline that we skip this one, but she threatened to shove a canary up my coal mine... gulp... Okay, okay, going, saving everyone, like good adventurers do.

Found the elf! Or rather she found us. Hello Lunatic! Lunatic killed, back to the Arishok.

The is baaaad.  
>The Arishok is not interested who were behind the elf . I would be. They will not leave Kirkwall until they get back something that was stolen, The Viscount will not like this.<p>

...I'm bored of this. We should do something fun. Hm, I wonder if I could join Isabela. For a drink. I mean.


	26. Eternity is relentless Raz errr Petrice

**Chapter 26 – Eternity is relentless Raz errr Petrice**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Visited the Viscount to share the news that the Arishok plans on staying a bit longer. Before that, looted the chest in the other room. Why, in the name of all that's holly, is an ornate belt kept under 3 locks? Not that it matters, I'm a pro :P **What?** Only +21 attack and +3 physical damage? Keep your shoddy belt!

The Viscount is grateful, but... there is always that tiny but. Or a big butt. Hey, I've changed the striped pants to black armour! I was told black makes me thinner, so no more big butts!

Anyway, back to the business; a Qunari delegate visited the Viscount. And then they just vanished. Have to find them...

I wonder how the other Hawkes are coping with this whole "YOU have to do everything, save Kirkwall" mess. Maybe I should organize a gathering of the Hawkes, where we can speak about our problems, unburden our hearts. Hold group therapies with group hugs and hitting each other with foam noodles! Clean, non-lethal fun to let some steam off.

Hanged Man... Found the "weak link," this guy was not really shy about being bribed. Aveline got all the info out of him. Good job, Aveline! I knew the "_how to work better with your subordinates_" training would pay off eventually.

Chantry. Sis...Mother Petrice. This women pisses me off. Why can't I kill her now? Would save time, not to mention lives, and she's always preaching about eternity.

Next stop, Ser Varnell... "they are heretics...bla..bla...we are true believers...Chantry blesses us..." Sorry, this makes my head hurt. Could we just skip to the part where you attack me and I'll kill you? Thank you!

The Viscount, understandably, was not happy that the whole Qunari entourage was killed by Chantry sympathizers. I've told him that Petrice was more or less responsible for it. "Was she telling then to attack?" well no, but she did not tell them to put down the weapons and go home peacefully either...

Ok, so Kirkwall owes me. I wish they could express the gratitude in a tangible form. Oh, sovereigns? Well, that IS tangible enough. Thanks.

Well, onwards! I've seen this cool book, "Evil Tome", at the Chantry, there are more of them around Kirkwall, I hope. If not, then I will check what the other's want. Isabela and Varric were standing at the Hanged Man with this gigantic yellow sign above their heads for sime time now.


	27. Family matters

**Chapter 27 – Family matters**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

I have decided to be a good leader and check on what my misfits want.  
>- Merrill needs help with her gigantic 3D puzzle. Later!<br>- Isabela... Found this ship model, I had given it to her, she really likes it :) but first, I had to rescue her from that poet guy; he was reciting a love poem to her. Why doesn't anyone write a sonnet for ME? One, nice sonnet, without expressions like heart worm, scintillating biscuit or lonely outcropping of rock.  
>- Anders. He probably has problems with Templars. Not now, please.<br>- Aveline mentioned she wanted to talk with me; she said it's not related to the Emeric job. Maker, I have to speak with him.  
>- Got some letters at home, will check them later.<p>

And that leaves Varric. Bartrand has made his way back to Kirkwall, and Varric decided to pay him a visit. While searching for the house I realized my backpack was full, and we didn't have a healer. Picked up Anders, went home, threw out a few things. Mother grabbed the opportunity to tell me how glad she is that I've bought the mansion back. Me too, Mother, me too.

And that now she has to find me a suitable husband... Errr... I've spoken with her again, maybe I've heard something that was not meant to me. And now she said that she's seen..."I've seen how you and that elf look at each other." **_MUM!_ **Not in front of everyone please! And if you've seen it, why are you looking for a husband for me?

Geez. No matter, man and heart issues are put aside for now, go back to Bartrand's. The mansion was full of crazy guards, but after finding the only sane person it made sense. Lyrium consumption is not part of a healthy diet, no matter what the Chantry says to the Templars.

Found Bartrand, he was speaking about voices. Well, I can relate, I also do speak with voices, A voice to be more specific. Anders tried some healing on Bartrand, but he said that it's temporary. We were standing around for at least 10 minutes trying to decide if we should put him out of misery or not. I've convinced Varric to let him live...

I know he was not happy with this; after all, he'll have to take care of Bartrand for the rest of his life, but he does not want to kill his own brother.

I suggested we should go drinking, seeing me get drunk always help him.  
>We hired a painter to create the still-life of me and Varric drinking. But by the time he got to the Hanged Man, Varric was already under the table, that's why I'm the only one on the picture :P<p> 


	28. Aymir the matchmaker

**Chapter 28 – Aymir the matchmaker **

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Bodahn has been nagging me constantly to check the letters at home. A few "I'm fine" letters, a letter from Feynriel, from Lothering, from Bethany, a few errr, interesting letters. Voice said just throw them out, she also gets letters like those.

I need that group therapy with the other Hawkes. It's hard enough with Bethany, now that she's a Warden, but do the others have all these issues? How are they putting up with it?

It seems someone _was _listening to my complaining about not getting love poems, because I did get one. Ahhh, that's so romantic :)

_"My love for Aymir is so great,  
>my heart melts for her 'til the dusk of day.<br>The night seems long when her's away,  
>baking, aching 'til day's dawn.<br>_

_Her beauty is great,  
>Wondering mind 'til her sees,<br>brooding is all I do,  
>While waiting for the moment, for her to say "I do."<em>

I asked Squishy, but he adamantly denied that he wrote me a letter. He said he can't even read. And he does not brood. Maybe he just dictated his feelings and someone else wrote them down. Maker, I hope it was not Varric, all of Kirkwall will know.

Let's check out what Aveline wants me to do.

Deliver a copper marigold to Donnic, who is 2 rooms away from her? Donnic did not understand the what was it about. Me neither."Metal is strong, copper ages well, flowers are soft." Aveline, I don't mean to interrupt this logic, but ageing well is important only if you are wine. Or cheese...

Okay, we'll post the duty thingie to that whatever. Donnic's not happy. Back to Aveline.

Ohhh, so she's trying to woo him. Isabela's idea taking out Donnic for a drink might help though. It didn't. Donnic thinks I'm the one interested in him. Listen, do you see the broody elf over there? The one with the markings? I'm more interested in jumping onto him, so no worries.

Aveline, arrange the patrol or Isabela will bed your man! Alright, everyone, let's move out, save the day in the name of love!

Ran into some bandits shouting: Stop right there, criminal scum... No, not exactly this, but they DID want to confiscate my Squishy! And for that they had to die! Nobody takes him away from me. I promised him will go after this Hadriana soon.

Back to helping Aveline. she's worse than me! After liberating the Wounded Coast, we just had to intervene. Varric wanted to draw a picture of where Aveline wants to touch Donnic. Varric, please no. You draw the picture, she draws our blood. Isabela... well being. Isabela, she just told Donnic to bend Aveline over a basin.

Geez, I was only doing what you told us to do. Back to the barracks.  
>News of the day: no official complaint, they got together! Yay! Finally!<p>

So... er... Aveline, what should we do with the three goats? Can we sacrifice them to the Great Demon?


	29. I need to get out of here  Fenris

**Chapter 29 - I need to get out of here - Fenris**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Did I mention we've ran into some acquaintance of Fenris' while on our way to help Aveline?

Ah, yes, I did. It ended up in bloodshed, some head banging, neck snapping. From this point on, all Squishy was talking about is that he's hoping that I'll take him to Hadriana soon. Why? Why do you need me? You know where that blasted cave is go in and talk to her. But sure, I'll go with you. Got to the cave, made camp there, because Voice decided to give Fenris some new threads. Waited there at least two hours... Gotta say though, was totally worth it! ^_^

Slavers, corpses, other slavers and we found this elf girl. She can cook, clean, so I've told her to seek my mansion in Kirkwall. She was quite happy. Of course Squishy was upset; me, using slaves. I've given her a job, you buttmunch! Geez, that he skilfully used the magic called "puppy eyes" only made things worse. The Chantry should put "puppy eyes magic" on par with blood magic. Both are dangerous!

Next room. More slavers, mages. Look, mage, you might be able to use this shield spell, but I have patience. There will come the time when you will have to lower that shield... Muhahaha!

At the farthest end of the cave we've found Hadriana. Was ready to kill us, but we ready were to kick _her_ butt. Before she kicked the bucket, she came up with an idea; her life in return for some information about the sister of Fenris. We don't know if she's telling the truth, probably not, who knows? Fenris promised her to let her live, however after getting the info he just killed her. And NO, he did not want to talk about it.

Where is Anders? Why is he letting Vengeance out again? It has possessed my Squishy!

My Squishy said, "What has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?" HEY, no badmouthing ME or Voice! My weapons were created by magic, my clothes were created by magic, hell even my hair colour was created by magic! And I do not spoil!

And he just left...

Isabela and Varric were running around asking me if I was all right, need help, should they bring some wet towel onto my forehead? Why? Did I hit it? It certainly would explain what Fenris is doing. They made me sit down anyways and only then did Isabela tell me that we've come here without Anders... Oh...Maker, what possessed me to go into fight against Tevinter mages and slavers with three rogues and a fighter?

Allright, no sense in moping! To the Hanged Man! Let's have a few drinks and let me check the other candidate. He's been telling me that he wants to talk with me in private, at his clinic.


	30. I need to get out of here Anders

**Chapter 30 - I need to get out of here - Anders**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

The Hanged Man is like my new home, especially the last few days. I haven't been home, I just wanted to be away from Hightown, and Varric offered me to use his suite in The Hanged Man. He said he needs to make a few trips outside of Kirkwall. I wanted to go too, but he said it's better if I stayed under the wings of Isabela... Geez, maybe that was not one of his best ideas.

Anyways, after a few mood enhancers I've decided to visit Anders. Errr, Anders, you said you wanted to talk with me in private. There are various people pacing around and I have Merrill and Isabela with me? Does that not bother you? No, oh, well.

Templars again. Bad templars... hm, maybe coming here, checking up on Anders wasn't THAT bad an idea...yes, yes... What? No, I wasn't saying YES to helping you. Oh, bummer. What have I gotten myself into this time?

Yes, I swear to the Maker, I'm not telling where the secret entrance to the Gallows is. Fought some lyrium smugglers, no spiders so far. Phew!

Ran into this Ser Alrik, busy trying to... wait, I don't wanna know what he was trying to do with that poor girl. In the end we could not avoid fighting, not that we tried too hard.  
>The brawl was over, but Anders remained flashy, ready to kill the girl. I had to butt in, to calm Justice  Vengeance down. It went rather good. Maybe I should work as a diplomat?

Anders was really frightened that he almost killed the girl. If I weren't there...And he left...

**_What's wrong with me?  
>Why<em>** are men running away from me like from the plague? I want to keep them close, but now it seems that the only way to do that is by keeping them tied up... Yeah, maybe I'll do that! Get some drinks with Isabela and Merrill, and tomorrow I'll buy some rope!


	31. Raiding the DuPuis Mansion

**Chapter 31 - Raiding the DuPuis Mansion**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

No, no rope yet. Merrill offered her ball of twine, but that's not gonna do, I do need rope. Of course Isabela immediately suggested other things I should get besides the rope. No, I just want to tie the guys up. She said she also was talking about tying up. Geez, I can never wash this off myself.

Until my candidates think about what they want, I decided to speak with Emeric, see what he wants. I offered Aveline to muzzle the geezer, she said I don't have to resort to such desperate measures, but if it makes him shut up, I can do that! She was muttering something about why can't he build a boat in his declining years or something...

Gallows...instead The Hanged Man. Get Varric. Now Gallows! Emeric was continuing his investigation until Gascard DePuis. Mansion was raided, found nothing. Maybe the guards raided the pantry? What idiot would keep blood magic notes there...? Note to self_, get the blood magic notes out of the pantry._

Mission accomplished! Raided the pantry, found three cheeses, six large hams, two loaves of mouldy bread, a few onions, potatoes, and tomatoes. Now what should supper be...?

Oh, the mansion? Well THERE we found a few shades, nothing Varric can't handle, and in one of the rooms we found women's clothing. Although this guy's supposed to be living alone. Well, he could be into dressing up as a woman... Isabela said he knew someone who had fun with it. I really, really, really, hope no one is wearing my clothes or there'll be a massacre!

This Gascard needs to get his eyes checked. I enter the room, look all girly and all and he says "you're not him." _Gasp_ How could you tell? Ah, yes, and he's not hurting the lady asking for help, he just "needs her blood to track the killer." The lady got away and all he could tell me is that she's going to alert the guards. Look, you see the ginger-haired lady, over there? She's the captain of the guard!

"Yes, I've used blood magic, and I'm not proud of it." It's like me explaining why was magic used to get me more cooler weapons. I HAD to do it for enhancing my powers and I'm not proud of it. Wait, I AM! Ah, well, bugger off.

Back to the Gallows: Emeric had left, because he'd gotten a message from me. Do I have a twin? With the same name and everything? But Varric is right; this is not a good sign. Did not get to the alley soon enough, Emeric was killed. some Shades appeared, killed 'em.

Finally the Templars realized that Emeric was right, Aveline mentioned that she'll get the guards to look for Alessa, the woman who was with Gascard. I honestly hope allowing Gascard to flee wasn't the wrong decision. We'll see.


	32. Frolicking through dreams

**Chapter 32 - Frolicking through dreams**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

It has been some time since we've been outside of Kirkwall, so I gave the order, „okay, kids, pack the picnic baskets, will go to Sundermount!" We ran into some templars arguing with some of the Dalish about Feynriel, but I've solved the problem without bloodshed. Maybe THAT's my true calling. Diplomat! :)

Feynriel was not with the Dalish. Oh, right, his mother wrote me about having problems, let's visit her. "Need help, save him, go to the dream, no, you won't dream, you go to the the FADE."

I swear I could hear "_**NOOO, NOT THE FADE**_" when we entered the Fade. Voice was pretty freaked out. She said she's NOT going to spend days wondering through that blasted section. I...er... don't know what she's talking about.

Before starting, Merithari mentioned that if things end up going badly, I have to kill Feynriel. I rather not. I've taken Isabela, Varric and Aveline and off we were into the Fade. Weird place, but I like the ceiling, looks cool! Found some barrels, a floating book, ah, yes and this Torpor demon thingy. Killed him.

Next room, another demon, a desire demon this time. She was busy making a deal with Isabela, who just before we've entered the Fade told me, „I never give in to temptation." Yeah, right, never! A hundred well-built lads to answer your every whim? HEY! I was the first in the line, why aren't you asking me?

Okay, next room. Pride demon, target: Varric. They... well... agh... whooped my arse; Aveline barely survived the fight.

Found Feynriel, convinced him that I'm not gonna slit his throat, or stab my dagger in his heart or ... yeah, you get the idea. He's off to Tevinter, hope he'll find someone who can teach him how to control his powers.

Arianni was happy, Merithari was happy, Varric and Isabela was not happy.  
>Alright kiddies, it was enough, let's go home.<p> 


	33. Less elfy and more human talk

**Chapter 33 - Less elfy and more human talk**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Merrill asked for help, she started to put together this awesome 3D puzzle, looking like a mirror, but she can not finish it. Well, hello, seems like a few pieces were missing from the box!

Let's visit the Dalish, they have this Arulin'Holm, whatever that is, it can help!

The conversation between the Keeper and Merrill was interesting, to say the least. Waaaay to many unknown words. Less elfy, more common words please! Go to the cave, find dead hunters, kill the Varterral. Alright, now you are speaking my language!

Entered the cave, fought Golems. Opps, wrong cave. Entered the good cave, found one of the dead hunters. And spiders. BIG spiders. What the hunters were doing in the cave? _Hunting_ said Voice. Haha, sarcasm, I know that.

Found the second hunter. Also dead. Maker, I hate this cave! It's full of dead bodies, looking like pincushions. I've been poking them for some time now, pacing to and fro, knowing that they will spring to life when you least expect them. But they don't. Then there are the spiders! I swear I'll accept quests only if there are no spiders. I hate those; nothing should have that many legs!

We've found another elf: Pol. Thank the Maker I found him...bla...bla... everything went well, until he realized Merrill is with us. From that instant his face had shown only one emotion, utter fear. He ran towards where he came. Into the arms... sorry, legs of the Varterral, the same creature we were sent to kill.

Killed it. Come to think of it, this thing looked like a stick insect. While I was fascinated with the local fauna, Merrill was more interested in why Pol was running from her. How should I know why men are running away from you? Isabela, don't you dare saying a single word! Let's get back and ask the Keeper.

I've spoken too soon, those pincushion dead were rising, ready for some fighting.

Back in the camp it became clear why was Pol so freaked out. The Keeper warned everyone to stay the hell away from Merrill. She even gave me the Aruli-thingy, instead of Merrill. What to do, what to do? Got stuck there, waiting for at least 10 minutes, because Voice could not decide, but in the end she told me to hand the knife to Merrill. Yes, Ma'am.

Before leaving for Kirkwall, we've decided to go to the top of the Sundermount. We haven't been there for ages. Found some Mushrooms, skeletons, more skeletons, the usual stuff. It's good thing we still had the picnic baskets, eating a sandwich at the top of the Sundermount is something that every adventurer should try!


	34. Do not mess with angry Aymir

**A/N The song to which Aymir is referring to does exist, it's called the Tale of the Nuckelavee, from the game The Bard's Tale - check here  
>http:  www . / watch?v=1JQpE7n6eUk&feature=related (remove spaces)**

**Chapter 34 – Do not mess with angry Aymir**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

It took some encouragement, but I ended up at home. By encouragement I mean Varric, Isabela and Merrill were literally dragging and pushing me towards to door of the mansion, saying I couldn't postpone the talk with Fenris any longer.

And he was there. Waiting for me.

Of course this, just as our last talk, ended up with him shouting at me...

[ This section of the diary was torn out ]

[_.._.._.._.._.. ]

[_.._.._.._.._.. ]

[_.._.._.._.._.. ] 

...Says it's too much, too fast for him. He cannot... do this. He remembered things from his past, but slipped his mind again.  
>Well, sweetheart, if this is what it takes to jog your memory, then maybe...?<br>But no, he's sorry, feels like a fool! And he just up and leaves!

**What the #&&#&# is going on here**?

Oh no, you **will not** do that! If you can think you can pull off this stunt, then you are thoroughly mistaken! You are MY Squishy, only mine, even if right now you are behaving like a bad Squishy.

I just finish crying, finish this bottle of wine, take a bath, try to find clean underwear. Maybe not in this order, but who cares? Then go check what the hell Uncle Gamlen wants, and go somewhere where I can hit people. Think I'll go and see what work this Mistress Shelby has for me.

_Update_: I've dropped by Fenris and asked if he wants to come with us on some killing spree, he said yes. I was convinced he'd say no. Now he is happily running around with us, saying, "_I enjoy following you_" every time Voice pokes him. Not to mention that he's saying that with a voice that makes me melt into a puddle of goo.

Listen, you try leaving me again...well, to recite a part of a song Voice used to listens to:

_"And if that ever happens the Death you should fear.  
>I'll kick in your nuts and serve them with beer."<em>

NO, Isabela, I do not want more of your advice! You told me "handcuffs, whipped cream, always be on the top" is the way to go, and look where it got me! So no more advice.

... Alrighty, MOVE OUT! Time to kick some templars!


	35. Another day in Kirkwall

**A/N – when Aymir goes back to check on Anders, he's busy with "trash, keep," thus the "cleaning up." And Aymir hates housework.**

**Chapter 35 – another day in Kirkwall**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Since my "relationship" with Squishy is more or less back on track, I've decided to visit Anders. I entered the clinic, and I was like "Holy Cheese! " I've seen the first, living male specimen doing some actual cleaning! Justice, Vengeance have their spirit, maybe Tidiness has one to?

Ugh, that night I had the most insane dream I've head for years! I was grovelling at the feet of this gigantic demon, begging it not to possess me. _I am the Demon of Tidiness_ it roared _you will do what I say, mortal! You will clean the house, wash the dishes and do other nefarious things! Muhaha_! And it started to crawl towards me...No more eating freshly cooked stew at 11 o'clock in the night! But just to be sure it was only a dream, I've stormed the kitchen, made a sandwich, drank from three different glasses and waited.

I did not feel the irresistible urge to wash the plate and glasses, so it WAS only a dream. Phew!

Running through the docks, I noticed this Qunari with the gigantic yellow exclamation mark floating over his head. Asks if I killed their patrol? Which one? I've killed at least five, if not more. Why is everyone thinking that if some Qunari are lost, I'm the one who can/will/have time to find them? What am I? Lost and found? Well I actually found them, beneath a few Shades and Abominations. ...what nation do Abominations belong to? Wow, I'm all philosophic today.

Found a cave, with a cart at the entrance. ...something is not right here... to the left there will be an Embrium plant. It was there. Anders and Fenris said it's only coincidence. There will be some guards. They were there. Now at this point they've started to freak out. As we arrive one of the guards is shot through the helmet with an arrow.

Well no matter, the trio of Anders, Isabela and Squishy started to pull me back towards Kirkwall, saying I might be possessed. But I'm not mage! They especially were sure about this, after Isabela did confess that we were at the Fade... I told them I'm fine!

Maybe my powers of clairvoyance have started to manifest?

Well, to put it shortly, NO.

Voice said that I'm right, we were here, but it seems she... and I quote from Her " _forgot to save_"... She tried to reassure me that it's better that I don't remember the details of the earlier fight: now we could easily massacre every marauder, but during the first fight only Varric survived. And barely. Geez, thanks, that's very comforting!

And how the hell should I explain this to the guys? It's not like I can say, "Squishy and Anders, this is Voice. Voice, these are Anders and my Squishy." How am I gonna get out of this mess?


	36. Aymir goes Warden Maybe

**Chapter 36 – Aymir goes Warden. Maybe**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

...Ooo, I've had an interesting conversation with Voice.

I'm eating incredible amounts nowadays, I can go through a plate of breaded meat with French fries in five minutes. I've heard the world record is five seconds for a trough, which is held by King Alistair! That made me think; couldn't I be a Warden? Voice said she could arrange that. I could even be an Amell, but the only downside is that I have to be a mage. She also mentioned that I probably won't remember anything that happened to me so far, which would be a shame.

I've decided to put this "being a Warden" on hold for now.

While running around I've bought a few things for everyone, thought I might as well

- bought the Tethras Signet ring in Lowtown, Varric was thrilled to get it back. We've discussed that if he's telling this tale, he'll say that I've gotten it from the belly of a dragon.

- Merrill received a cute carved halla. Poor Merrill was thinking she'd missed some anniversary. Not any that I know of. I do not have any picture to commemorate it. Asked Voice is this is also due to "not saving," but she said no, this is due to deleting. Great...

- Anders got this Tevinter Chantry Amulet; to say he was not thrilled is an understatement. He was asking if I want him to be executed...

- Squishy got a book. Why Voice told me that he would be happy to get a book is beyond me!

I also had to wrap up the whole "_I won't abandon you in the Fade_" business with Isabela and Varric. Don't worry guys, everyone gets one free demonic possession before I hold it against them.

During one of our excursions to the Chantry I've found this "Evil Tome", episode 1 of the 5 book series. Found them all, destroyed them, found this cool looking book, destroyed it.

A desire demon appeared, summoned Shades, Revenants. Adventurers vs Demons 0:1 But, after we've changed some equipment on us we whooped their arses. Yay!


	37. Headshot

**A/N – The "one week" is referring to the death of Leandra. **

**Chapter 37 - Headshot**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

After almost one week, I've felt like I'm ready to see the outside world again.

Visited Aveline, chatted about the people we've lost. Visited Merrill, visited Varric, and visited the Viscount. Saemus decided to pay a visit to the Qunari Compound, and stay there. His father wanted me to get him back.

Next stop? Compound! At least that was our plan, but some thugs thought otherwise. Anti-Qunari, anti-Viscount, we'll never know to which group they belonged..

According to the Arishok, Saemus was not at the Compound. He received a letter from his father and they are meeting at the Chantry. Strange, the Viscount would have mentioned that, I'm sure. Wait, Chantry, Qunari, nooo, please not Mother Petrice again!

Saemus is dead... and YES, it's Mother Petrice. Still coming with the same "eternity" sermon.  
>Does nobody in this "righteous" mob have any family or hobby besides attacking poor defenceless me?<p>

And she's continues spouting her nonsense to the Grand Cleric! Squishy, Varric, let me go! Let me at her! It's not enough that she'll answer before a court, I want to kill her before that! They can hang her lifeless body! Or do whatever is deemed normal in Kirkwall.

...I really wished that Qunari would have left that headshot to me. After all, I'm also an archer...


	38. The newest Champion of Kirkwall

**Chapter 38 –The newest Champion of Kirkwall**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

We've tried helping Isabela, but she buggered off again. She got the Tome of Cousland, and she ain't coming back! Great!

Off to the Compound, let's see what I can do. Well, not much.

The Qunari started a rampage, everyone was trying to flee from them. Aveline was yelling something about trying to save as many as we can, but I was busy with covering my ears and whimpering, because all I could hear was someone yelling going "**Worthy rival achievmeeeeent! Finally!**". Squishy and Aveline were quite worried, but Anders said I'm fine. Lie! My ears are useless!

Met with Bethany. Maker, she still hates me.

Finally encountered Knight-Commander Meredith, First Enchanter Orsino, even if not under the most normal circumstances. Strangely, they bicker like a couple... Entered the Keep ...I never knew it could be so quiet. Fought some Qunari, Voice told me to treat this like a warm-up exercise. Was also telling me to start using my daggers. Nonsense, I'm an archer!

Entered the room, where the Arishok was making his grand scene! Heads were rolling, necks snapping, more Qunari fighting. And then Isabela appeared! With the Tome of Koslun! Sh*t, I've lost 50 silvers to Varric! I was 100% sure that she wasn't coming back. Isabela said it's due to my influence... Awwwww.

What? No, they are not taking Isabela with them. Definitely not. Aveline wants to kick her arse first. What? **Duel?** Me? Against the Arishok? Ahhh, so THAT's why Voice told me to start using my daggers.

**Isabela**! if I ever survive this, **I'm killing you!**

Hey, using the daggers is awesome! Maybe I should stick to using daggers, instead of being an archer? Voice said she had another Hawke before me, who survived long enough to actually fight against the Arishok. I've asked what was that duel like. She said I don't want to know. But I did want to know. She told me the other Hawke was a mage and she was running around in circles, trying to keep distance from the Arishok. I wonder if that also would be considered as "romantic."

Arishok dead, but before completely dying he said " One day, we shall return ." Qunari left, I'm the Champion of Kirkwall! _Newest_, Voice said. What? What do you mean the newest? How many champions does this city have? Oh, it seems many.

Ah, well, this mess is cleaned, let's head over to the Hanged Man, the drinks are on me!


	39. Merry band of misfits

**A/N - yes, it's Elder Scrolls Oblivion I was mentioning. I still haven't finished it... I guess too much freedom is not for me.  
><strong>

**Chapter 39 – Merry band of misfits**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Everyone in Kirkwall wants me to be the referee of the Mages vs. Templars match, and Maker knows I want to stay out of it.

Suddenly all my misfits wanted to speak with me, so why not do that.

- visited Isabela. She was pretty pissed off! She was asking if I remember what I was saying after the Qunari mess. Noooo, but I do remember what I've said before it, and that is still valid! Can I kill you now? Do you have 5 free minutes?

- visited Varric, who was chatting with Anders. Voice was like "_pillow, give him the pillow_!" I swear, sometimes she freaks me out. They were just chatting about the adventures of Anders in Ferelden. Sorry, Voice, no pillow this time. She was pretty disappointed.

- visited Merril. that she's still trying to finish that mirror puzzle is not healthy. Come, Daisy, little sun will do you good.

- visited Aveline. **When** was her wedding? Suddenly she's married, had a honeymoon in Orlais and I can't remember a darn thing. I couldn't have drunk that much at the wedding reception, have I ?

- visited Anders...

Screw the daggers, I want my bow and arrows back! All my skills are for bow, I don't have any decent skill for daggers!

- again, visited Anders... I don't like the sound of this "truly catastrophic" at all...

- last, but not least, my Squishy... but that's a story for another day, as Varric would say :)

Visited everyone in one single day! I'm proud.

Voice said I should be! She mentioned that she had another "character", no, not a Hawke, who was supposed to deliver an amulet to some Priory, but instead of heading there, she was screwing around with different guilds, quests and whatnots. And the amulet was never delivered.


	40. Dragon rodeo

**A/N – The invisible dragon is due to a nasty bug :/**

**Chapter 40 – Dragon rodeo**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Hubert contacted me again. Problems with the Bone Pit, of course.  
>A cart just recently came back to the town, with loooot of dead bodies. The only survivor is the horse. And the mages are unable to make him talk.<p>

Ok, pardner, you go on interrogating the horse, I'll head over to the Bone Pit.

Dragons! In this day and age?  
>Wait, Voice said something about this <em>game<em> IS called Dragon Age. I guess that explains why there are so many of them, all of them wanting to get piece of ME!

So...er...we...died. And got "reloaded".  
>Isabela, Squishy and Anders were looking around like with the "<em>WTF<em>? We've been here before, not?' look written all over their faces. Good, welcome to my world!

We've beaten a hastily retreat, to pimp out our equipments. To Hightownn! Alright, kids, you'll get a floss candy, per person of course, wait a little bit over there until I buy the necessary runes. Then home, I have the best enchanter at home :)

Swords, daggers, staff pimped out... Armour! Okay boys, get out of your clothes! Isabela just spewed out the wine she was drinking, Anders and Fenris were completely red. I wanted to explain that I only meant to add defensive runes to the armour, but Isabela just said "suuuuure" and winked at me.

Maker, please let the earth open up and swallow me...

We've headed back to the Bone Pit, decked out and ready to kick some dragon butt. Well it went considerably easier! Not to mention that I got to ride on an invisible dragon! Cool, huh?


	41. Alone

**Chapter 41 – Alone**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Visited Squishy, who was busy arguing with Aveline about a ship...? I need to level-up my eavesdropping skills. Why not enter, maybe I can help. Or make things worse. I'm good at both.

So Squishy did follow up on the info Hadriana had given. Her sister lives and she'll be here for a week. He knows that I owe him no favour, but if I would be so kind and everything, we could pay her a visit at the Hanged Man. Sure, why not?

The Hanged Man was strangely empty. As far as I can remember it was this empty only once at 3:00 in the morning, during one of our drinking marathons with Varric and Isabela. They never knew how can I stay so sober, while they were already under the table. Ahhh, I miss those good old days.

So, this Varania... She either has found a really good hair dye, that covers all white hair, or they are not related or... I don't know.

I don't like her... Well, it's not like I'm marrying into the family, so who cares! If Squishy is happy, that his sister showed up then I'm also happy. Well, so much for the tearful family reunion. This ...okay, I'll stick with the word "man." but I'm using the term extremely loosely. I never seen any male swaying hips like that.

So, Danarius, I assumed. That, he was. Wants Fenris back. MY Squishy! Nope! "_The lad is rather skilled, isn't he_?" Ahhhh, sorry, if we finished I think I'll need to wash my mind to undone the damage. Hopefully it'll be reversible. But, no, sorry, don't waste your breath. I do not hand him over.

Squishy killed Danarius, yay, when Squishy turned his attention to Varania. She was begging ME to stop him. Why? She sold him, led Danarius here. Still... I was really glad that Varric told Fenris that killing her is the last thing he wants to do.

Ah, yes, and let's not forget Anders. To make matter worse, he though it was the perfect time to butt in saying that "_ha, your sister is a mage, you bloody hypocrite_".

I... think something snapped in me... Maybe... probably... I said things. At least I think it was me. Oooo, maybe Voice said it?

Varania had left, everyone was looking at me like I'm an adomi...abmo...abomithingy... Noo, I did not have those cool flashy things Anders has, but still.

Since I could not remember anything I've said, Varric offered to help, he had taken notes. So apparently I've told Anders to "shut the f*ck up" and that Squishy had no memories, did not know about her sister, let alone that she was a mage. And I've told him other, rather not nicely sounding words.

Maker, I HAVE to get those notes from Varric! This story is not for the public!


	42. Ship for Isabela, sela petrae for Anders

**Chapter 42 - Ship for Isabela and weird substances for Anders**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Maker knows, I try everything to postpone the visit to the Knight-Commader, so far I've done pretty well.

I've been shopping in Hightown, but I haven't been careful enough. By the time I've arrived home, Isabela was already reading through my letters.

She needs help with Velasco or Castillon or whoever. Okay, next stop, Blooming Rose! We have to be convincing! I can even hit her. Did I never want to hit her? Anders did. Squishy did. _GASP_ Inform the criers! They did agree on something! Hope it's not gonna happen too often or the universe, whatever that is, gonna explode!

Plaything, slapping, spitting, killing, getting ship for Isabela. She said she'll stick around for a while, so no need to organize the farewell party :)

Merrill... I don't know, she's been quiet lately. Maybe she's still poking the mirror with that knife. Hopefully by now she finished that mirror. If yes, I want to see it! Maybe it's those cool mirrors that make you waaaay thinner! If it's one of those, I want one at home!

Anders needed help with his project. We need drakestone, sela petrae, moonbeam captured in a jar... sorry, that's another story. To me it seems like a wild goose chase, but if you say that it helps, then I'm happy to help. Sela petrae, no big deal, for the drakestone we' headed over to the Bone Pit.

Traps, spiders. HOW do spiders lay down the traps? Honestly, just once I want to see a spider doing that.  
>The next thing I know, I can not move, there is a GIGANTIC spider chewing on the head of Anders, and Voice is busy taking pictures of us!<p>

I was like HEY! She said I was not complaining about the other 9734 occasions she took pictures... Maybe not, but still. That's my healer who's head is being chewed off. So Anders, for obvious reasons, soon died, like within 1-2 seconds soon, and we, the other 3 were stuck there chopping the spider, but we had no idea for how long we should go on chopping it.

Voice, for the love of the Maker, please find that "V" button and make the health bar visible again! Thanks you very much in the name of Aymir, Varric, Fenris and the deceased Anders.

So, everything is gathered, we just go over to the Chantry, where I... WHAT? Distract the Grand Cleric? I don't like this, not one bit. People heading into danger have a distinct smell about them... And you, Anders, reek of it. But, okay, I'll do that...

That went rather well, chatted with the Grand Cleric, no she still won't take sides. Well, guess what? Me neither. At least not now. Anders showed up, went back to the clinic, where he was busy giving his pillow to Varric.

Why do I have the feeling this is not going to end well? But then again, **when **did anything end well...?


	43. Hunting apostates again

**Chapter 43 – Hunting apostates again**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Paid Knight-Commander Meredith the long overdue visit. Chatted some about how the armour she wears was a really good choice, things like that. And of course some apostate hunt was dumped on me, because as the Champion of Kirkwall, she wants ME to help. Before answering I looked around; no Anders? OK, we'll help.

_Huon, Emile de Launcet and Evelina_

_Emile_ comes from a noble family, let's visit them! Mother said she did not see him since he was six. Father said mother gave him money recently to leave the city. But he did not leave the city. he's at the Hanged Man.

This guy is there, drinking. Yes, with a bow and a quiver full of arrows I can only be a mage. He just presents me the most pathetic pick up line I've ever heard. I tell him he needs to practise more on women. He asks if he could practise on me? In private. Varric, ask if he can shoot the guy. YES, please, I'm sure Meredith will also pay for the dead body. I just wanted to get over with, let the guy leave, we'll come up with some utterly genuine excuse.

_Huon_ .His wife works as a tailor. I need new dress, but with ruffles... NO! I don't want ruffles, especially not something that is festooned with ruffles. They make me fat! Absolutely not! Has she seen the husband? Well, yes and no. After the templars left he appeared and he said that he'd be back for her at night. As were we. Not in time, unfortunately. This guy was completely insane! He used the blood of his wife to summon Shades. Wrong move. Wrong mage! Dead mage.

_Evelina_. Spoken with her adopted children, who told me that it's not good if mother is angry. The younger kid ran towards the sewers. They wanted to tell Evelina that we're coming to get her, and other things happened, Evelina ended up as an Abomination. Killed it. Gave money to the kids.

Reported to Meredith, although she was not convinced at all that Emile is killed. I kept my fingers crossed that she believes my story. I do not thing she was 100% convinced... We finished this, got out quickly from the Gallows.

Going home. Will sleep. Hopefully will not dream of pathetic pick-up lines.


	44. Running errands

**Chapter 44 – Running errands**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Busy, busy, busy...

I'm getting lots of letters, seems I'm a celebrity, or what.  
>- from Cullen, saying Aveline is in trouble - will check<br>- from Alistair, King of Ferelden? – later  
>- from First Enchanter Orsino – later<p>

But before all these I wanted to see what Varric wants. Cool, a haunted house, with spirits, moving chairs? You got to be kidding me! Of course I help! Honestly, I thought Varric was kidding. With all the stories about me and everything, but no! Vases floating, books flying, doors opening-closing, it was awesome! Transparent golem, many shades... those were not so awesome. Found part of the idol, decided to give the shard of craziness to Varric, hopefully he won't up as cuckoo as Bartrand.

Checked the Barracks, seems there are complaints, that she's soft on the guards. She...soft... She's a woman-shaped battering ram, as Isabela said once, how could be soft on anyone? Well, beside Donnic, but he's her husband.

Anyway, went on patrol with her to inspect that everything is done properly. It was.  
>-Only one guard? Check.<br>-Many cut-throats? Check.  
>-Mage amongst the enemies? Check.<br>-Donnic won? Check!  
>-We helped? Check, but that's not important.<p>

Back to Cullen. Then to Lowtown. Then to Darktown.

Maker, why can't all the baddies be at the same place, at the same time? I'm way too old for running around.

So at Darktown found the previous Captain, Jeven, spouting things. They attacked us, we retaliated. Oooo, nice words I'm learning from the Templars, huh?


	45. Dancing in the moonlight

**A/N – "…cut off the leg of…" – when you first see the abducted brother/sister/sweetheart, it looks like the leg WAS chopped off. Weird.**

**Chapter 45 – Dancing in the moonlight**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Alrighty, let's check this Orsino guy...Where can I switch off this "apostate mission magnet" I have on me? Or has someone put a note on my back: "Have missing apostates? Need to find them? Call Aymir Hawke! 100% guarantee! She'll find them within 24 hours!"

Ooooo, a secret meeting in Hightown. I wonder how secret can it be if Orsino knows about it. I find the place and the next thing I know templars and mages are shouting and throwing fireballs at me, trying to roast my arse. Geez, I wasn't spying, I just walked into this little meeting. I wanna join the association. Don't you accept new members?

Next stop? Docks, a warehouse. Pretty much the same scenario, except this Templar, who looked pretty familiar, decided he does not want to kill me. Good decision, son! Keran? You were stuck in that cool relaxation thingy! You know I still couldn't buy one like that, although I've been hunting Hightown high and low to get one. What do you mean kidnapped? A Grey Warden... Oh, you mean Bethany!

Hey, wait just a minute? Weren't they supposed to kidnap my Squishy? I soooo wanted to free him from the clutches of evil mages. That would have been so romantic!

Well, I guess the mages/templars were right. Kidnapping Bethany probably was much easier, she's a mage, plus she's only 55 kilos ( +/- 5 kilos), while my Squishy may look thin and stuff, but he's always running around that cool two-handed sword I've bought for him, what can I say, he likes it. Not to mention his ability to tear hearts out. He practised on me...

Okay, off to save Bethany!

They've cut off the leg of Bethany! How could you? May the Maker have mercy on you all, because I won't! Blood letting, head chopping, you know how these things go. Ohhh, blood magic! Nice! Makes your leg grow back!

Cullen appeared, shocked that I'm helping mages. I'm not helping them. Wanted to, but after seeing the legless Bethany I do not know if I'd like to help , it's not my decision, ask Voice! She's the one who decides what I'll do.


	46. We are not gonna take it anymore

**Chapter 46 - We are not gonna take it anymore**

_we're Right/yeah_  
><em>we're Freeyeah_  
><em>we'll Fightyeah_  
><em>you'll Seeyeah_

_oh We're Not Gonna Take It_  
><em>no, We Ain't Gonna Take It<em>  
><em>oh We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore<em>

_We're not gonna take it - Twisted Sister_

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Noooo, please, no more letters! For one, only one day, I want to be at home, not babysitting Kirkwall. But as my luck would have it, no, something is urgent, something has to be done at once. Okay, let's head over to the Gallows. Then Lowtown.

Meredith and Orsino was arguing again. They probably can't express their feelings any other way. Ahhh, they remind me of Squishy and myself :)

Templars or mages?  
>I could not choose, I just could not. Voice said she can't take this any more and stormed off somewhere, but was back in a few seconds. She said she needed some Haribo gummi bears, whatever those are.<p>

Templars or mages? Oh, what the hell, MAGES!

Meredith tried her best one last time, saying if I side with them, I will share their fate. Are you threatening me, Lady! NO ONE is threatening me! Killed the templars and I was left there to deal with Anders.

Oooo, I can't take this! Said Voice and stormed off to get more gummi bears. I wish she could just send a few of those with her magic to me, too.

I've let Anders live. Off to the Gallows! We ran into Bethany, said she wanted to apologize for what happened in the Deep Roads. She is here as a sister, not as a Grey Warden. About time, welcome back, Sis! Off to save the mages!

Lowtown cleared, off to the docks! For the love of the Maker, Voice, **stop looting the corpses! **I'm in a hurry! She said it's programmed into her, playing too much RPGs caused this... Geez, I can't take 2 steps without picking up some junk. It's not like I'll need it in my next life.

Fight! Varric dead. Fenris dead. What? Oh, pride demon. Isabela dead. I was almost dead. "Reload." Varric dead. Fenris dead. I'm dead. Pride demon dead. Isabela almost dead. Shades attack "_Reload_." ... "_Reload_." By now Voice was pretty pissed-off, she said she didn't want to use it, but she had to! Maker, what forbidden magic is she talking about? Well, whatever she used, we did win. Yay!

Gallows! Teary goodbyes, don't worry guys, if we die, Voice just brings us back. Right Voice? _RIGHT VOICE?_ Got my kiss from Squishy, awwww.

Held a quick briefing, then fought some templars, when suddenly Orsino snapped. I did snap a few times, but my snapping was nowhere to his "gather a few corpses around myself so I end up as an ugly thing with 150 kilo" snapping. Had to fight him, he just pulled some body parts out and slapped me with it. Ugh...

So, Orsino dead, let's see Meredith. Alright! I gotta give credit, Cullen had the balls to stand up against Meredith! Ah, so SHE bought the idol. That certainly explains the craziness. Fight, scream, fight, more scream. So she hates mages, but summons a bunch of statues? What a hypocrite!

More fighting, statues just kept coming, I swear, if I can go back in time, I'd tell the person who designed this section to forget the statues.

So, we won. She screamed more and then turned into a life size lyrium statue. The templars were looking at me, we were looking at them, frankly I was expecting them to bow before me. Ah, so that's only done if I side with them?

Bollocks. Okay, then we'll just leave.

Hmmm... Varric, a word with you. Two, actually. If you tell this tale, could please tell it as I've become the Viscountess of Kirkwall? That would be way cooler! The other, how much do you think a life size lyrium statue could fetch? Hmmmm, we'll be stinking ritch!

* * *

><p>AN - With this ends the adventures of Aymir Hawke. For now...

However since Aymir expressed her desire once to become Warden, I granted her that wish. Thus has poor Aymir Hawke ended up as Aymir Amell...


	47. Legacy 1

**A/N Sorry for the long entry, I blame the fresh banana & chocolate cookies.**  
><strong>Please, read the Amell diaries, or at least the first and the last few chapters otherwise you will not understand what's going on.<strong>

**With that being said, let me sum things up: my Hawke, Aymir, was thrown into DA:O as Aymir Amell, with all her memories as Hawke. Killed the Archdemon, she's dead. In theory. In reality I've brought her back for Legacy and MotA.**

**Chapter 1**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

_Entry made a few days ago_

...I was lying on a bed... Nooooo, please not the Harrowing again!

- Wake up, sleepy-head.

Something seemed a little odd. I was trying to figure out what it was, but it is really hard to THINK when you're being covered with kisses. Not that I complain, this wake-up method beats the "shout in the ear" one, that's for sure.

...so let's see: Alistair was made king. He dumped me. Redcliffe, Denerim, Riordan failed, Ali wanted to kill the Archdemon, I knocked him out, killed the dragon thingy. Which means...I'm dead. Then how come I felt everything? I shouldn't feel anything at all. Maybe it's the Fade. Yes, probably. But the kisses did feel too real. Has the Fade been upgraded since the last time I've been here? "_Now you can fell everything, come, visit the Fade today!"_

- I really like this, but you should stop, Alistair.

There was an growl. The kissing stopped.

- What do you mean "Alistair", Hawke ? Asked someone VERY angrily.

Without opening my eyes I sat up quickly, but my head just hit something. Owwww. I have a large bump, just great. I haven't fallen off the bed, have I? But I tried sitting UP. To the void with directions! Okay, Aymir, time to open the eyes, let's see what did my head hit...

FENRIS? I'M HOME! Kirkwall home! YAY!

_Latest entry of the diary_

During the past few days, some dwarves joined the long line of people who want my blood. Normally there is no pushing, single file, everyone behaves, waiting for their chance to get their arses whooped, but these dwarves don't know the rules.

Tracked the dwarves to some Maker-forsaken place. Varric said it's not even on the maps. And to top it off, they were after Sis too, not only me.

I LOVE this place! It's full of traps! Oh, how I've missed disarming the traps while I was a mage. And strangely I miss the spells. That's weird. *sigh* I have to get used to the bow again.

The dwarves want the blood of the Hawke. With all this attacking they've already smashed a few hectolitres out of me, why not just use a mop...? Whoever or whatever is whispering these strange things to the dwarves, hasn't whispered any common sense into them.

Found a letter: To capture the Hawke. We have learned Bethany Hawke is with the Grey Wardens. bla...bla... The blood of Malcolm Hawke must remain pure... I tell you, no common sense. Bethany is a Grey Warden, you know, taint? Taint taint taint and more taint.

More dwarves, but we've found one that was willing to talk. And Varric knew him! Awww, he's the papa of Bianca. I wonder where Varric gets his information. "the one whose blood you want to drink or bathe in or whatever. But if you're after eternal youth, I've got to tell you, she's no virgin." No comment on this one.

Found a strange looking, shining thing. Nothing good came of touching shine things, ever. Sheesh, if I've know what consequences my sentence of "I can feel it inside me" would have, I'd never have said it. How come no one was looking like that at Anders, when he said he can feel Justice inside him? We weren't there...? Well, that's true, but still. Men! Next time I come here I'll bring the girls along.


	48. Legacy 2

**Chapter 2**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

"The mighty Champion of Kirkwall,  
>she had three trustworthy men<br>She marched them down to the bottom of the Grey Warden Prison,  
>And she marched them up again.<br>And when they were down, they were down,  
>And when they were up, they were up,<br>And when they were only half way up,  
>They were neither up nor down. " <p>

There is still debate whether they ARE trustworthy or not, but that was my best idea for the rhyme. And yes, it is true. We were going down, so that we can climb upwards later.

Met this old man, in Grey Warden uniform. He seemed... you know... how should I put it...of unsound mind? Bats in the belfry? Nutty as fruitcake? Hmmmm, fruitcake... Wonder who cuts his hair? He's Larius, Commander of the Grey. Only I can help, or more precisely my blood, and so on and so forth. There are seals, I have to use the key - you know the inside me thingy - which now looks like a really ugly bow and touch them and... well, I'll just have to see for myself.

Anders said this Larius is like that because of the taint and his calling... I do not care! Let me get this straight! If I'm calling him, he better answer properly!

The only way leads down, so we might as well go.

Varric just said it's no wonder he prefers the surface. Fenris wondered how deep does this go? It is a really long way down, so carefully with those smartass comments, gentlemen!

Found these strange looking "Mark of the Binder" glyphs. Shade, abomination and a desire demonhad been imprisoned by these glyphs. I've heard the voice of Father. But this is not right! Mother, Bethany and even Carver should have been here, not only me.

...Let's go, this place has many more floors, I'm afraid.


	49. Legacy 3

**Chapter 3**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Found the body of an ancestor of Varric, gave his soul back to the Stone. Or however is that said nicely. Hah, I speak dwarven! When did I learn it? Varric said we should go, before he starts crying.

Altar of Dumat... that name sounds familiar... Oh, yeah, he was the first Archdemon! Offer or defile? Defile, hell yeah! Take that, Archdemon, for getting me killed!

Found a sarcophagus with 6 torches. Noooo, not a puzzle! Voice was mumbling something about not being able to think after 21:00 hundred hours, me neither, and she disappeared for some time. Roughly five minutes later she told me some magic instructions: second left, second right, third right... I've asked what is this, but she just told to shut up and do what I'm told.

Sheesh, yes, Ma'am!

...third left, second left and third right. And we got some mediocre things. Just great. Much ado about nothing.

Anders been acting strangely. He said he hears voices. I hear only Voice, but I'm not making a big issue out of it. Maybe I should?

...he ended up as Justice. Great. I really can't take him anywhere. We got to kick his butt! Wooo-hooo! Why haven't we come here sooner? He's back to normal, but I hope we can do this again :)

Larius showed up, a bunch of Grey Wardens showed up. I am to take side. Again. This is getting boring.

Larius wants Corypheus killed. Because he is a darkspawn. Or something like that.

Janeka, the leader of the Wardens wants to bind Corypheus, to use as a weapon.

Question, question? The Wardens of old couldn't control or bargain with Corypheus. What makes Janeka think she knows more magic than they did back then before blood magic had been banned for 1000 years? No, no need to answer, that pretty much settles it then.


	50. Legacy 4

**Chapter 4**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Please, for the love of the Maker, no more puzzles! I'll be stuck here for all eternity. If Voice is sleepy, she's not helping with the puzzles. And Varric, Anders, Fenris or this cuckoo Larius isn't much help either.

Janeka summoned reapers! *gasp*

Found some letters, saying Coryphyus CAN NOT be controlled. Geez, I wonder if this Janeka has ever read those.

Ohhh, this prison is nice. You know, as nice as a Maker forsaken Grey Warden prison can be. Why-oh-why can't I go once, only ONCE to a nice place? With party? Drinks? Food? Me, wearing a nice dress?

DEAL! Shouted Voice. Something is not right, she was suspiciously cheerful...

Moonshine, posing for Voice... can we go now?

- Hand over Hawke...  
>- No you're evil...<br>- No you're more evil...  
>Maker, they are like kids. Nobody's gonna get MY blood, okay? Especially if I'm threatened with getting that said blood out of my spleen!<p>

Janeka kicked the bucket. Now all that remains is release this Corypheus in order to kill 'im.  
>Question, question: if they need my blood, just one drop, then why in the name of all that's holly must I cut my hand?<p>

This Corypheus looks weird... and that's an understatement.

Chatted some, "_but the Golden City was Black_..." no magical boogeyman... just Chantry propaganda, said Anders...Corypheus is determined to get the hell out, not that I blame him, so he attacked us.

Whatever mod magic was Voice using does not effect the others, only me, so they died pretty quickly. Which shouldn't have been the problem, but for some reason I could not attack Corypheus, although the 4 pillars were already distroyed. Voice was cursing some unknown Makers and their insects. Sorry, not insect, bug.

We'll be using reload magic again and fight Corypheus again. Hopefully tomorrow the insects won't show up. Sorry, sorry, bugs. Wonder if the others will notice anything unusual... We'll see.


	51. Legacy 5

**Chapter 5**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Reload magic! thus spoke Voice and reloading was done. So, we are all right now? No insects, bugs? She doesn't know. She hopes.

Yep, the others DID notice that something happened, we've already fought Corypheus, but haven't given it much thought.

Okay, everyone, come here, it's time for a briefing! We're fighting according to the following strategy:  
>- attack Cory<br>- when he starts to use the pillars deactivate them one by one, kill the pillar shades  
>- attack Cory<br>- and try to keep everyone alive  
>- follow this pattern<p>

Hmmm, that would be all in a nutshell. And if all this fails, Voice will just evoke some of her mod magic. _Sure, I'll do that!_ she said.

The others were horrified! First they were looking at each other, asking if the others heard Voice, too. Then they were looking at me like I was caught dealing with a demon. I though this IS the perfect time to introduce them to Voice.

Gentlemen, that was Voice. say hello to her. Voice... ah, but you already know them :)

And more questions came: like who she really is? Since when I know her? Is she a demon? Am I paying her in blood? Hm, let's see: she is just Voice. I don't know who she really is. I've known her for all my life. NO, I'm not paying her in blood. As for the demon question... I don't know. I don't think so, I mean I'm not a mage. Most demons deal only with mages. Then again, whatever we want, she gets. So she might be a demon.

Enough of this chit-chat, we have a emissary wanna-be to kill and Voice promised me a vacation in Orlais, where I can wear a real girly dress!

No bugs this time.

Corypheus is killed, Larius is happy, I'm happy. And the way Laruis is speaking now, it seems Corypheus is also happy... Just great. Why was all this necessary, if somebody could explain that to me, I would be grateful.

Back home had a civilized chat with Sis, one we haven't had since ages. And Mother said it'll be all right. Hope she's referring to the hunting party.

What dress should I wear? Maker, I have only pants, I NEED a dress!


	52. Orlais, here we come  MotA1

**Chapter 1 - Orlais, here we come **

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Midnight, Hightown - It's like the setting right out of one of Varric's stories. Along with the ambush. Antivan Crows... *sigh* just when I thought I'd have a peaceful midnight stroll through Hightown with my Squishy.

An elf woman showed up, did some fancy skill demonstration. And left most of the Crows for us. Thanks...

Hey, seems we are going to the same hairdresser :)

So, this Tallis only showed up, because she needs my invitation to the party? Sorry, I WAS promised by Voice I can go, I deserve it, I'm not giving it away. But you can come with us, if you want.

...just to summarize everything, to see if I understood correctly: a jewel is being kept in secured vault, guarded by chevaliers, monsters and whatnot. And she wants to steal it... This is the craziest sh*t I've ever heard! What are we waiting for? Orlais, here we come!

Nice estate! Where are my manners, not estate, château.

Tradition? Nope, I have no idea what the tradition is here. Oh, so the first person to slay a wyvern get the... honours of the evening and bragging rights? No wonder I stayed away from Orlais.

Like a proper guest, AND the Champion of Kirkwall, I chatted with the host, Duke Prosper. "_And who is this lovely specimen?"_ Asked the Duke. Back off, he's MINE! I do not share!

Aaaanyway, I haven't hunted wyverns yet. Dragons? Hell, yeah! Small dragon, middle dragon, dragonling, huge dragon, high dragon, Archdemon dragon, you name it, I've already slayed it.

The other guests have already stormed the Hunting Grounds, so we, too, should be off.


	53. Looking for clues  MotA2

**Chapter 2 – Looking for clues**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Here, wyvern, wyvern, wyvern! ...Hm, it's not working. I got it! it's related to dragon, we need a vigrin sacrifice! Do we have a volunteer? No? no one?

Sheesh, all right, let's just look for clues.  
>- mating call, could we mimic that? NO! Oh, you mean the sound? Sweat merciful Maker, this woman...<br>- shredded halla - or at least I think that's what it was  
>- huge pile of wyvern sh*t<br>- and... - drum roll for the suspense - BLOOD!

Varric keeps asking me why I am not taking him to anywhere nice. But this IS a nice place! Has trees, lakes, green, wyvern, château. I hope I'll inherit this place ^_^

This hunting started out as a nice stroll in the woods... if only I would have been able to loose Varric and Tallis for a while and drag my Squishy to a secluded spot... but I could not :(

Sad, Aymir is sad.

The Hunting grounds became Haunting grounds for some of the hunters. No, not wyvern. Some strange creatures, called ghasts attacked them. Not that I blame those things for attacking, the hunters leaned into their hole to check out what that is, the idiots!

Found a man traipsing around in smallclothes. Was rambling about some worshippers of the sky. Not interested. They have treasure. Oh, yeah! Now you ARE speaking my language.  
>What do I need the treasure, for I have no idea, I have more than 400 sovereigns, but who cares?<p>

Treasure found, almost got our arses kicked, Voice in the last minute invoked some mod magic. Hopefully after all this we can go and hunt down that wyvern and PARTY!


	54. Aymir the great hunter  MotA3

**Chapter 3 – Aymir the great hunter**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Nope, still no wyvern and no party either.

Found a hunter, doggies went missing. Find the dogs. Find weeds to the antidote.

Finally after hours of running to and fro, found the ideal place to bait the wyvern. Just a small one. One we can manage. Apparently we've missed a few things to bait the alpha wyvern. Honestly to me a little wyvern is also a wyvern.

It may be that fortune favours the bold, but as I've seen at the ghast hole, around here the bold ones die young.

We used everything we had - except the mating call. Dumped all the blood on Tallis and she started running around making weird sound - she tried to mimic a nug, but I've heard Schmooples, the Nug of Leliana enough times and Tallis was nowhere near a real nug.  
>Fortunately the wyvern wasn't this picky, to it Tallis WAS a nug.<p>

Awww, it's cute. Can I haz one? I'd keep it on a leash, take it our for walk in Hightown, to scare the nobles. Oooo, that would be awesome!

... that was quick. Voice was complaining that she could not get many pictures... We killed it and this Orlesian noble shows up, calling me a Fereldan turnip! He claims that the wyvern was his, his, his to take.

Yeah, right! "_You do realize this woman_" - me - " _has nasty little thugs like you for breakfast_, _I hope_?" was the question to whatever was his name. Wait a minute, he didn't even introduce himself. Pfff, manners...

I do NOT eat humans. Nor Orlesians. But I do like pancakes. Voice said she made some. With home made peach jam... *drool* Send some over, please. I wanna try the ones with cocoa too!

Orlesian guy beated, he attacked, of course. Duke Prosper arrived on the scene, asked me what do I want to do with that guy. Ahhh, for a few second I was thinking if sticking up a turnip in his arse would be possible, but it was not among the options. So I just let him go.

Voice created a last picture, ME the great wyvern hunter and we were off to the château.

Let's go! Party! Party!


	55. Party MotA4

**A/N – Aymir's party dress was courtesy of the „Ashara Party dress" mod**

http:/ www . dragonagenexus . com / downloads / ?id=3205 (remove spaces)

**Chapter4 – Party**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Oooo, nice dress! I like it. It's black. No, wait, it's purple! I've never had any purple clothes. Why not, I wonder.

Party! Party! Pa... What in the Void is this? Have I ended up in the wrong château?

The invitation clearly states Château Haines, but are is only a handful of nobles. No singing boy band, no beer, no normal food.

Hmmm, let's mingle, maybe the boy band is late.

- Leliana - she does not recognize me. Ah, of course, I'm back to being Hawke. But she knows Tallis. They do not talk... Ohhh, I wanted to hear some good story

- Bann Teagan and Arlessa "_Who iz dis woman_" Isolde

- Senechal Bran with his ... I do not know why didn't he tell his/her/it to shut the f*ck up during the party and not speak a single word? Wait a minute! I've seen him/her/it in the Blooming Rose!

- Lady Elegant

- Comtess de Launcet - her baby, the "you magicked my breath away" blood mage, is not writing to her! Scandal of the Century!

We need to get inside, all the doors are closed. Where is that key?

Guard number 1 - fashion disaster! I have to change my clothes immediately! Maybe letting things to Tallis wasn't a good idea... "What a big sword you have." Really, Tallis, that was the best you could come up with?

Guard number 2 - improvise! I was stung by a bee! It's an emergency! Call a healer! or something. No key, though.

Guard number 3 - improvise! Where is the privy? Tallis needs it. NOW! No key... One of the servants has it.

Servant - do we want to try some cheese? Ham? Hell, no! Just give me the key and we'll be off. No key, given to Lord Cyril. The son of the Duke.

Ok, I'll speak with him. But the boy band better show up soon!

Event of the season, yeah, right...


	56. Metal Gear Solid Orlesian Edition MotA5

**A/N - Yes, I was playing with Metal Gear Solid. With MGS 3 to be more specific.  
>Although truth to be told, I almost always used the tranquil gun, trying to get rid of the guards before they saw me, I was never good with CQC :(<strong>

**Chapter 5 - Metal Gear Solid Orlesian Edition**

(from the diary of Aymir Hawke)

Maker, Tallis is hopeless.

Move aside, let me show you how the pros are doing this! ...Tadaaaaa! Key stolen!

Did someone mentioned candied nug? I haven't had any normal food yet. *sigh* Yes, moving on. No candied nug for me.

I am to sneak in the shadow and throw rocks to lure to guards away... _Do the guards have a question or exclamation mark above the head when they notice me?_ asked Voice? What? Why would they have that?

She told me she was playing with a game, where the guards did that. No, no tranquil gun, I left that at home. The instant noodles as well. Choco chip camouflage? I'm hungry enough, please don't make this worse.

"You're making it more difficult than it has to be" One more word Tallis and I'm going home! If you know where is that blasted thing why do I have to be here, sneaking around?

Had I known knocking out guards is what I'd be doing, I would have told Tomwise to create a few bottles of chloroform. Voice, DO something! Other than screaming "Snake, snake, Snaaaaake" every time the guards spot me! There are no snakes around.

And Voice, hearing my pleas, in her infinite wisdom decided to invoke reload magic...


End file.
